Good morning, Readers!

Lordy, I have been working hard.  Granted, I've been working hard on things I should have done before now, but still.  I've been working hard on getting everything in line for submitting Soldier to my favourite publisher.  I've also been doing a proper timeline of the events in the book, and creating a bible of characters, items and places that are mentioned in the book, no matter how briefly of unimportant they might be.  It could turn out that one of these tiny, throw-away things I created will blossom into something really important.

That has been the case for a number of things in the past.

As this series is quite easily the most elaborate thing my brain has concocted, creating this bible was kind of necessary.  I also want, when I have time, to create a book of illustrations for all my scenes, characters and events.  First, though, I plan on taking an oil painting class or three.  Starting in January, when my financial situation levels out a little bit and I can afford the materials necessary.

I also have to create a bunch of maps, so I can keep the locations straight, but that will happen after I send in my submission, which will happen as soon as I'm certain that I can send in the manuscript without hesitation if it is asked for.  Fingers crossed, but let's keep our expectations reasonable.

On the agenda today, writing a cover letter, reworking my synopsis, and then combing through the manuscript to make sure every scene has the right ambience, and conveys the correct mood.  That achieved, I will be sending the submission off.

I've probably over-thought literally everything about this, but I really, really want this one to work out for me.

Wish me luck!

I have to get to work now.  Have a good day.

Ciao! 

Good morning, Readers!

A few days ago, I posted this status update:

I giggled.  The people who know me giggled.  It was a good time.

It's also true.

For the benefit of those who don't follow me on Facebook or Twitter, let me state plain and simple where, exactly, I stand.

Trans women are women.  Trans men are men.  Trans people are people, and if you have trouble thinking of them, or treating them as anything other than that, then we cannot be friends.  I will not permit it.  If you decide to make a fuss about people respecting transgender people, be that using their proper pronouns or making washroom accommodations, you and I are going to get into a fight.

Women are people.   We are capable, intelligent, can and should lead, and should be in full control of our own bodies and our own lives.  If you disagree with that in any way, shape, or form, we cannot be friends.  Also, fuck you.

Healthcare is a right, and should be extended to everyone.  If you think people deserve to die simply because they are too poor to be able to pay a doctor, then you are a legitimate monster, and we cannot be friends.

Clean drinking water is a fundamental right.

First Nations people have been brutally treated, and that treatment continues, and we all need to be doing better by them.

Vaccines are a good thing, and don't 'cause autism.'  Also, if you'd rather risk serious illness, side-effects and death for your child than autism, you're a horrible person, and we cannot be friends.

The environment is paramount.

White nationalists, supremacists or any other moniker Nazis are going by at present are not 'fine people' at all.  They're awful, and their abhorrent ideology is utterly unworthy of any kind of platform whatsoever.  Free speech does not trump the safety of the people.  I do not have to tolerate intolerance, and any suggestion that I must will result in immediate unfriending.  For life.

Trump is the worst possible manifestation of all the vices of humanity in one disgusting golem.

That's where I stand.  You are free to walk away now if you think you can't handle all the leftishness.

Tomorrow's post will be lighter, because that's about all I can handle without exploding into a ball of raging fury.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

So, this week, thanks to the arrival of real Milo (sorry to keep going on about this, but it seems that I really didn't know how much I missed the food I was raised with), I have been drinking much more milk.  As in, drinking it at all.  For the first time in many, many years.

Since it's been so very long since I've last had a glass of milk, the sudden reintroduction of it had my tummy very grumbly.  It took about three days before everything equalised again.  Thank heavens I didn't lose the capacity to digest lactose entirely.  That would have been disastrous.  Happily, I can continue drinking my glass of Milo in the morning... Until it runs out.

Today is another day of working on improving my submission.  I was planning on having it all done and ready to submit by November.  It's looking doubtful, currently, with all the work I have ahead of me now.  Still, I am making progress, and I am doing a lot of foundational work that will, hopefully, make it easier for me to write the future books in the series.  It's all the stuff I should have done before I wrote the first book, but couldn't really know properly until the thing was written.  This is purely on account of my writing process.  I'm a pantser.  Or, more politely put, I'm a discovery writer.  I discover how the book is going to go, and who does what, or even who they are as I write.

I know I've spoken at length about this, but when I sit to write, I have only the main character and the ending of the book.  How we get there is entirely up to the characters (weird writing mysticism aside, clearly it's me, but it's a much less deliberate and more more unconscious act than for many writers).  It's a fun way to write, and often the intrigue is enough to keep me coming back to the writing, but it does mean that I screw myself over when it comes to editing and future use of those characters.

What colour was his eyes again? Uh... was she actually at the particular fight?  WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THIS, CHARACTER?! TELL ME! TELL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem.

So, I am currently sorting each scene into a detailed timeline and combing through the manuscript and listing out characters (their appearance and attributes, ambitions, fears etc) and assets (places, objects of note etc).

Essentially, I'm making sure that all the information in my head is out in a place where I can easily access it and where there is very little chance for me to forget any of the details.

I have an enormous cast in this book, and it'll only grow as the series grows.  So... it's a lot of work.

It's good that I'm doing it, though.  Let's be honest.  I can't even remember what happened yesterday.

Right, I have to go and get that work done.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Last night, for the first time in years (like, many, many years), I started sparring again.  Normally I'm content to just train the basics, but honestly, if I'm to improve, I really need to get into sparring again.

I stopped, not because I disliked it exactly, but I disliked hitting people.  It was fine if they blocked, but if I got a good shot in, I would feel absolutely terrible.  And apologise.  I'm sure that was annoying to the people I was sparring against.  Hell, it annoyed me.

Last night, I found out that I still feel bad for landing shots, and I still apologise.  Weirdly, I only do that if it's a punch.  I don't have that reaction to kicks I land well.  I think I feel like I have more control over my kicks, oddly enough, and I never kick to the face.  Maybe it's the hitting of the face that makes me feel awful.  Hm....

Anyway, the point is that I had a lot of fun last night.  I would like to point out that half the reason I enjoyed it so much, was because everyone was controlled and relaxed.  They all understood, as few of them before seemed to, that sparring was not a fight.  No one is keeping score.  There are no declared winners at the end.  It's literally just time for you to try and work out how to do the things you need to do to get the result that you want while the other person is doing the same.

For myself, I really need to learn how to get in on people much larger than I, with much longer reaches.  There are three men in class who are tall, with long arms and legs.  That means that they can hit me long before I am in range to do damage to them back.  I really struggle with getting in.  It's frustrating, but that's why I need to spar.  So I can learn.

I expect a lot of frustration in the coming months.  Especially facing Rob, Martin and Olivier.  Those tall bastards. *Grumble*

I had been a little scared to jump back into sparring.  Part of it was bad experiences with people who were out for a power trip.  Those people aren't sparring this semester, so I'm good there.  The other, greater, part was the constant fear that I'd really hurt someone.  That's something I need to work on.

That and getting in on people with stupid long reaches.

You pack of gibbons.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Before I get stuck into today's topic, I just want to say that my favourite thing about Milo - proper Milo, not the weird stuff they make for export - is that top layer of dry crunchy bits that just won't mix in no matter how much you stir.

*Happy sigh*

Anyway, back to the whole writing thing.  I'm not doing so great with it.  I'm currently reviewing Soldier, trying to find ways to improve it because I have an opportunity to submit it to one of my favourite publishers ever, and IT NEEDS TO BE GOOD, DAMN EVERYTHING!  The problem is, of course, I now hate it.

I don't hate the story.  I've lived with this one since at least grade eight.  I love the story.  I just feel like I'm not good enough a writer to do this story justice.

It's playing with my head.  A lot.  Every time I settle in to do the work my heart drops out of my chest and I get depressed.  That terrible voice in the back of my head is whispering evil things about my writing, and I get incredibly discouraged.  There's not enough atmosphere.  That sentence is juvenile.  You think you're a writer?  I've seen chimps with better dramatic instincts.

UGH! SHUT UP BRAIN!

But here's the thing, I care about this story, more than any other one I've written.  Certainly I want every one of my stories to do well, but this one is something special.  To me, at least.  It has to be good.  Not just good.  Brilliant.  It has to shine.  Not just so it can stand out in the competition for publication, but for its own sake.  For my sake.

I hate feeling like this.  I hate hating my work.  And the thing is, it probably isn't actually that bad.  My brain has just twisted it into a feeble attempt at writing.

Right, I am going to work more on Soldier.  The goal is to have the thing ready for submission in November, and which point I'll take up Outcast again.  Soldier is the least complicated of the the planned six books.  So... that's a thing...

Anyway, wish me luck, because right now I don't feel like skill is going to get me there.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

... As bright as bright can be! We all enjoy our Vegemite for breakfast, lunch and tea. Our mummy says we're growing stronger every single week, because we love our Vegemite.  We all adore our Vegemite.  It puts a rose in every cheek!

If you're Australian and did not sing that, I am wildly disappointed in you.

The truth is, I know that little jingle better than I know the national anthem of Australia.  I should be ashamed of that fact.

I'm not.

Anyway, a friend from high school, with whom I am still in contact.  I think she's the only one, actually.  My experience in high school was not great, and frankly, there are few people from that time that I care all that much about keeping in contact with.  It's not that they're bad people by any stretch (some of them were horrific bullies, but the majority were not).  It's just that they represent a really bad time in my life.

The point is, we're still in contact and, she very kindly, when I had run out of Vegemite a few months ago, offered to send me some more.  And also some Milo.  Not the Milo I can buy here.  The Milo is a completely different formula.  But proper Milo.  The kind that doesn't dissolve all that well in milk, and leaves delightful little crunchy bits floating on top of the milk and weird, silty bit at the bottom if you leave it sitting too long and don't stir it before you drink.  That Milo.  Real Milo.

Today I sat down to a breakfast that made me feel like a little kid again - Vegemite on toast, fruit and a large glass of Milo.  It's the kind of breakfast I had when I was little (though decidedly less fruit.  I eat a lot at breakfast now, lunch is smaller, and dinner is an orange, usually).  It made me smile.

There are few things that make me nostalgic.  Food is definitely one of them.  Today, I'm feeling happy.  All because of a typical (for me) Aussie breakky.

Now I have things to do, and later I'm swimming.  I hope.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Last night I streamed God of War as I usually do of a Wednesday night.  It was a great stream.  I died so very much.  It was a good time.  Until right at the end.  When one random weirdo decided the spoil the story.  For no reason.  He just popped in long enough to deliver the spoilers, and then pissed off again.

What. A. Douche.

I mean... he might have just lied about it, but I doubt he did.

I'm actually not that mad for myself.  I am for anyone watching me that had the story spoiled.  I'm not angry because one of the spoilers was a complete "Well, duh.  The whole game has been building up to that point."  The other one, the major one, actually confirmed something I had guessed a couple of streams ago... but it was nothing more than conjecture before.  If he's telling the truth.

I'm also angry just on principle.  The principle of the thing is what really gets under my skin.

I seriously wonder about the mentally of someone who does that.  I mean, what happened after he just jumped in to ruin the major impact of the story for everyone?  Did he feel good about himself?  Or was it that he felt just as hollow as before he decided to be a such dick to a set of complete strangers?  Did he like me calling him an arsehole?  Is that a fetish of his?  What did he say to himself afterwards?  "Hell yeah! That ruined that for these people I don't even know! High-five me!"

What a complete loser.

Just to be clear, the game is not ruined for me.  The ending isn't really the point.  The point is how you get there, and I'm enjoying the journey far too much to stop.  Besides, I'm curious to know if Major Loser last night was actually telling the truth.

I'm not going to name him here, because I feel like part of why he did what he did is because he's desperate for attention, and I'm not particularly interested in delivering that for him.  Also, I'm not particularly interested in sending a hate mob after him.  Do not, I repeat, do not interact with him (unless you're his friend... but then... why?  He's a douche).  Let him fester in obscurity.

He's a moron, and has now been banned from my chat and won't be able to spoil any other stories during my streams.

If you're on Twitch, you might want to consider quietly doing the same.  Send me a message and I'll tell you who it is.

Right, I have a shit tonne of work to do.  I'm off!

Ciao!