Good morning, Readers!

Many apologies for this post being so damned late.  For most of the day, the internet was non-functional.  It was restored at just past three o'clock this afternoon.  I'm rushing a bit.

Right, so, despite my best efforts at being clear yesterday, it seems that there was something that people didn't quite understand.

If you don't know me, and you compliment my appearance, don't worry.  I'm not going to snap at you, yell at you, scowl, growl or otherwise behave rudely.  That's not really my style.  Of course I understand, being as how I acknowledge my discomfort with being complimented on my physical appearance as being atypical, that most people are trying to be nice.  They don't know that my mind doesn't work like most of the other population.

Of course I would smile and thank the person.  When/if they get to know me better, then I will let them in on my peculiarities.  They were just trying to be nice.

I'm not in the habit of shouting down nice people.

Thank said, I'm not going to apologise for disliking such compliments.  That is just how I feel.  There isn't much to be done about it, really.  And I'm entitled to the way I feel.  It's a peculiar quirk, I know, but it's mine.

It would be a different story if I let my feelings control everything I did, but since I don't go around screaming at people for complimenting my appearance (except cat-callers.  I'll scream at them, because fuck those guys), there really isn't anything to be sorry about.

I learnt how to deal with my discomfort with those compliments like a civilised person.  It's something we all should learn how to do when faced with uncomfortable situations.

Unless you're being cat-called.  You can forget about being polite then.

Hey, they broke the rules of civility first.

Right, I have to go get ready for training right this minute.  I hope that clears things up for anyone who was confused.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

I hate being complimented on my appearance.  I hate it.  Like, with the passion of a thousand fiery suns, hate, hate, hate it.

There are so many reasons why I hate it when people compliment me on my appearance.  I will try and be succinct about it.

1. I don't think it's particularly true.

Don't!  Don't even think about arguing the point on this one, alright?  I don't want to hear it.  I also don't want to hear any variation of 'Don't be so hard on yourself' or 'Beauty comes in many forms.'  Not interested.  You see, growing up, it seemed that everyone I knew, with the exception on my mother, took great pains to ensure I knew precisely how plain I was.  There is a quote which I have written on this blog before said by one of my friends which has stuck with me since the moment it was first uttered:

And then there's me.

I was the girl no one would be caught dead with.  In grade seven (I think), a boy asked me to be his girlfriend.  He seemed like a nice bloke, so I said yes.  The next day, we were walking to the shops to get something, and he asked me to walk three feet behind so it didn't look like we were together.  That was the reason, uttered from his mouth hole to my ears.  I broke up with him the next day, just so you know.  I have some pride.

When it came time for the Débutante Ball (it was ladies choice; we did all the asking and buying of boutonnieres etc), which I desperately wanted to attend, I asked every boy in every one of my classes if they wanted to go with me.  No, was the answer.  Every single time.  One boy said that he really didn't want to go, and so declined.  Three days later, he announced in class that someone from another local school had asked him, and he finally had a date to the ball.

I never did attend the Débutante Ball for my year.

Look, I'm not looking for your pity.  I'm just stating what is.  For these, and many other reasons (like only ever being complimented when people wanted me to do something for them... like their homework), I don't happen to think that people are being entirely genuine when they compliment my appearance.

I'm not saying I think I look like a troll, either.

What I'm saying is that I don't think I'm any more (or less, actually) beautiful than the next woman.  I'm not extraordinary enough to be of note.

So please, don't note it.

2. I'm more than my appearance

This might get a little feministy, so hold on to your hats.

From a young age girls are taught that their greatest asset is their appearance.  They must dress prettily, have good hair, be slender enough, wear the right kinds of make up, etc.  They are, from their earliest moments and often despite the efforts of sane parents informed that for a woman beauty is success.  And you know what?  For the most part, that's true.

The Kardashian sisters, for example, have done nothing of note.  Nothing.  But they are famous and successful.  Why?  Because they're beautiful.

A male actor must be a good actor.  A female actor must be a good actor, and she must be beautiful.  Unfortunately, this is changing, and male actors, particularly in North America, are starting to realise that they can no longer depend on talent alone.  I say unfortunately because it is unfortunate; to have appearance replace ability on the success scale is awful and hideously unfair.

So, men are starting to understand the pressures women have been facing for ages.  It remains that beauty is essential for women, and not so much for men.

U.F.C. is a prime example of this.  HERE is a great article on the subject.

The fact of the matter is that even if I was objectively beautiful, there is so much more to me that is far more worthy of praise.  I am passionate and compassionate.  I am ambitious, hard working (sometimes), kind, determined.  I am tenacious.  I am strong.  A true compliment would be:

"You're an awesome person."

"I loved [insert title I wrote here].  It was such a great read!"

"You know, you are really smart."

Why do I find these more complimentary?  Because I work my arse off trying to deliver the best novels I can.  It's hard work.  Personalities, too, take work.  To be frank, more people should be working on them.  Increasing the brain's ability to think critically is also a lot of work, as is combating one's own ignorance (there is no greater sin than wilful ignorance, people.  None) and something more people should definitely work on.  All of these things take work to improve, and there is always room to improve them.

Being complimented on a job well done is far more satisfying than being complimented on my looks.  After all...

3. I really had nothing to do with it.

Let's pretend for a moment that I accept that I'm physically beautiful (it's just pretend, beauty is the farthest thing from objective you could imagine).

So what?  It's not like I had much to do with it.  I mean, other than eating well and exercising (because I'm terrified that I'll acquire my father's bad heart) a fair amount, I really didn't do anything special.  I was born.  That's it.

If you want to compliment someone on my looks, compliment my parents.  They have way more to do with it than I do.

I was always confused about why I should thank someone when they expressed their opinion about my appearance.  What was I thanking them for, exactly?

Why, thank you good sir/madame for your arbitrary, and frankly unsolicited, opinion on the cumulative effect of my genetic heritage.

Thanks.  I mean, clearly I worked very hard to produce the code that would exhibit the phenotypical expression you now have told me you find appealing.

So, I would scowl, and then murmur 'Thank you' whenever complimented on the way I looked when really, all I wanted to say was...

4. I really don't care

Seriously, I could not care less about whether the angles of my face/curves of my body pleases your eyes or not.  It's really your issue.  Don't make it mine.

#nobodycaresaboutyourstupidboner

Now I know I'm weird, and that tonnes of people love to be complimented on their appearance.  That's really awesome.  It's good.  I'm not judging others for it.  I'm just saying that I don't particularly like it, and stating why.

This is by no means a guideline for complimenting other people.

It's really just if we encounter one another, you will know that complimenting my appearance will likely result in a massive (if internal) eye roll on my part.

I acknowledge that I am atypical in this regard.

Right, Beta Reader Two has come through with edits, so that is what I will be spending today doing.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

I feel like I may have posted about this before, but it's been a while, so I'm doing it again.

Words are powerful.

They are magic.  Why do you think incantations are so important in spell-casting?  Words.

They are magic.  Depending on how that magic is wielded, they can either create, raise, build and shine, or they can lower, sink, burn and destroy.

The Celts believed fully in the magic of words.  Bards were highly trained, highly honoured members of Iron Age Celtic society (as noted by Strabo). There are stories of kings who were satirised and ended up dying for the shame.

It's not so different from today.  Bullied kids are killing themselves in alarming numbers.  Why?  Words.

Words are powerful.

Words are barbs that embed themselves into the flesh, into the heart, into the mind, and they can never be scrubbed clean.

But they are just words!  Only words!

So we tell ourselves over and over in an effort to diminish their power.  Yet their power remains, and we weep to ourselves, murmuring, "They are only words.  Just words."

Though they leave no physical mark, the wounds of words are deep, raw and they never heal.  The wounded carry those traumas in silence; the walking dead.  The lesions in their soul created by words may claim them still, like a lurking infection or slow spreading poison, unseen by the rest of the world.  It may be minutes, or days.  It may be years.

Those left behind will scratch their head and wonder what happened.

Words kill.

Yet they are beautiful.  Like benign magic wielded kindly, they can make the world a better place.  Kindly spoken, words can bring light to the dark, hope to the bleak, joy to the miserable, home to the lost.

Words can build worlds, create heroes from nothing, take people away on adventures; profundity experienced from an armchair or bed.

Never underestimate the potency or words.

Words are magic.

Words are powerful.

Wield that power wisely.

Good morning, Readers!

So, after two days of pretty decent blog posts (if I may say so myself), I have nothing to say.  So I figured I'll let others say it for me.

HERE is a short post by writer and publisher Hayden Trenholm about casual sexism, and how it is so casual and normal that we generally don't notice it (as a result some wrongfully declare sexism "dead" and feminism "unnecessary").

I just want to add here that I notice casual sexism.  I notice it because I experience it.  Every.  Single.  Day.  It is a constant weight I feel I'm continually pushing against just to stand up.  It's exhausting.  And worse, there are people who flat out refuse to acknowledge it exists, and they tell me just how wrong I am, and how wrong it is I feel what I feel.  Trying to get those people to understand is about as easy as trying to grow wings with wishes.

It's nice to see that some people, even if they're not as directly affected (casual sexism hurts men too), acknowledge it.  Thanks, Hayden.  I appreciate it.

Do you know someone with anxiety or depression?  What to support them?  HERE's a quick guide on how to tread around them.  While not the same, the two are linked, and I've found the advice here to my liking when applied to people with depression.

HERE's to the uncle of the year.  Seriously, dude.  You made my morning.

And HERE are some animal buddies that might melt your hearts.  Except for the fox and bunny.  I'm pretty sure that bunny is dead as door nails...

Well, that is enough to be getting on with don't you think?  Enjoy these reasons for procrastination.  I'm off to attempt more Welsh.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Saturday at C.O.N. I sold a copy of Ethan Cadfael: The Battle Prince to a young lady (I sold more than one copy... for some reason it was wildly popular Saturday).  On Sunday I received a wonderful note from her saying how much she was enjoying the read so far.  She also emailed me some questions she had as an aspiring writer herself.  With her permission, I will answer her questions in today's blog post.  So, without further ado, here is today's question and answer session.

Both.  Either.  It doesn't matter, really.  What matters is that you are writing.

The first story I ever wrote was a bunch of different scenes stitched together.  It ended up being four books long, which, when rewritten ended up being six books long.  I've shelved it, but will be taking it out for yet another rewrite soon.

Many of my other stories were written in chronological order.  Ethan Cadfael: The Battle Prince was written in an odd combination of both: it was composed of separate scenes which I wrote in chronological order then stitched together so that it flowed more cohesively.

The truth is, there is no right way or wrong way when it comes to the process of writing.  There is only the way that works.  What works for you might not be what works for me, or someone else.  That doesn't make it wrong.

It may take you some practice and experimentation to figure out which way works best for you.  Even then, it may change depending on you and the story you are writing.

I would advise to save any editing until after the rough draft is finished.

I sometimes go back and do a very light edit on the scene I had written the previous day - a very light edit for spelling and grammar only.  I do this to help get my mind back into the story so that I'm able to write the next scene without much struggle.  That, however, is as far as I would go.

It is far too easy to get stuck in an editing loop and then never finish a manuscript.  That helps no one, least of all yourself.  If you find that something major in a some prior scene needs to be changed in order for the current direction your story to make sense, then make a brief note of it (the "comments" function in MS Word is great for this), then move on.  You can, as they say, fix it in post.

Finish the manuscript; that is the important part.

Oh boy!  This really does depend on the writer and what the writer wants out of their writing.

Though I am self-published, I would like to also be traditionally published.  The reasons for this are many and varied.  First of all, there is that sense of validation that comes with a publishing contract.  I'm not going to lie, that kind of validation is very attractive.  There are other perks: I wouldn't have to pay to have a book cover done (which I usually do because I am bloody awful at book cover design).  I wouldn't have to struggle with formatting the book, or pay someone to do it for me.  They have professional editors that they pay to edit a manuscript.  I wouldn't have to pay for such professional editing.  The best part?  They take care of the bulk of the marketing, something I am so incredibly awful at it's not even funny.

I hate marketing so much.

Traditional publishers also take care of the distribution of your books, and having a house behind your title opens doors that would otherwise be shut to you - many book reviewers refuse to take self-published titles into consideration, and it's far easier to get your titles into brick and mortar stores.

People also take you and your talent more seriously when you have a publishing house behind your title(s).

If you're self-published, you have to do all the work, and I mean all the work.  You have to create your own cover, or pay out of pocket to have it done for you.  The same with formatting.  And editing.  As for marketing, well, that's all on you all of it.

And there is so much about marketing to learn.  So damned much.  It's overwhelming.  I don't do half the stuff I'm supposed to because I find it all so overwhelming even thinking about it gives me vertigo.  That might be hyperbolic.  The point is, it's a tonne of work.

Some writers, like myself, are not excellent marketers.  We can write.  That is the limit of our skills.  Other writers are marketing whizzes, and they do everything with a breezy smile on their faces.  I am not such a writer, though I wish I was.

The truth is, the pros and cons of self-publishing really do depend on the writer.  I consider having to do everything a con, as I'm not good at it.  I can write.  That's all I'm good for.  Others would consider that a pro.  It does afford a level of creative control that is, if I'm honest, wonderful.  And many people really enjoy the marketing side of things.  Barf.

Truth be told, I really enjoy the process of self-publishing.  It is expensive, however.  While it is possible to self-publish and not spend a dime, if you want it done right, you're going to have to outsource your editing/formatting/book cover design, and that means money.

Once the book is published and out into the world, however?  I really cannot handle the marketing side well.  At all.

All I can say is do your research on the subject so that you can find which path is most comfortable for you.  We are very fortunate to live in an age where we have these options, and we can make that decision.  We writers are a varied bunch.  One path won't fit everyone.  Now it doesn't have to!

There.  I hope I've answered all the questions well enough.  I did try!  I have to go function in the world now.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

This weekend was the first ever Creative Ottawa Nerds Market, and it was, in a word, wonderful!

Both myself and the Amazing Flatmate had a table this time. She wasn't just an incredibly helpful human being at my table.  We were next to each other though, so she was still, as ever, excellent company.

It was actually a pretty miserable day out on Saturday.  It was warmish, but snowing.  Like troopers, however, people actually showed up.  And they bought things!

There were a lot of awesome things for sale, actually.  The vendors at the event were varied and fantastic, ranging from awesome food to awesome jewellery, books, beautiful art, crocheted wonders, hand painted shoes... the list goes on.

I had not expected to make much.  Like all events, I had hoped merely to make back the cost of the table. If I was really lucky, I'd make back the cost of my stock as well.  Luckily, the cost of the table was not high at all.  At all.  I needed to only sell two books to make the cost back.  Yay!  I am pleased to report, I managed to make the cost of the table back, and then some.  And then lots, actually.  In one day, I sold almost as much as I do on the average ComicCon weekend.  I am impressed and so grateful and still reeling a little bit.  I mean... really?

Thanks so much to everyone who came out, and picked up a book.  I hope you all like them.  Reviews (good or bad) are very welcome.

Can I just say how grateful I am about the cost of the tables being low?  The event, like most events of this kind, was a fundraiser.  The organisers were hoping to raise some money to help feed Ottawa's hungry.  All proceeds from the sale of the tables went to the hall rental and event advertising, and the entrance fees and the silent auction proceeds went straight to the Ottawa Food Bank.  These things are supposed to be mutually beneficial, with the vendors who are drawing the crowd making at least some money so that they can continue to do what they do and continue to draw in crowds that love what they do.  Unfortunately, often times prices for tables at events similar to this one are so exorbitant that small fries like myself cannot afford them; and we cannot justify purchasing a table because we know there is no way we would so much as break even.

Had this event charged what other events are charging, I would only have just broken even on the cost of the table, instead of making back the cost of stock and having some left over to pay a few bills as well.

It tells me that the organisers care about the independent creative community.

This comes as no surprise, since one of the organisers was the fabulous Jen Desmarais - one half of the wonderful husband and wife team behind JenEric Designs, both of whom I am fortunate to count amongst my dearest friends (so proud of you, Jen).  She knows the woes of people trying to make a living from their creations.

So, a massive thank you to Jen and Whitney for organising this wonderful event, and a spectacularly massive thank you to everyone who came out in support of the Ottawa Food Bank.  You made this event something wonderful and I do hope to see you there again.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Well, I'm a busy little bee.

That is a good thing.

For one, it keeps me too busy to spend much time in my own gloomy head, which is a always nice relief.  Right now, I'm too busy for unhappy thoughts.  During the day, I've divided my time between Welsh lessons, writing Daughters of Britain and until recently, Beta Reading for two different authors.  With the Beta Reading done, I've started work on Sky Road Walker.  That's the working title for the Your Very Own Adventure project, for those not in the know.

There is actually a fair amount of editing and rewriting required for Sky Road Walker, mostly because I'm changing it from Second Person, present tense to First Person, past tense.  Also because... Holy typos, Batman!  Wow.  In any case, I'm working on it at last, and that'a great feeling.  If I continue at the pace I'm going with it, I should be finished fixing it up in roughly forty-four days - about a month and a half.  My complete stab in the dark yesterday was actually highly accurate.  Go me!

I'm also continuing my write of Daughters of Britain.  I had a fantastic writing day yesterday, making well over two thousand words in my two hours of writing designated writing time.  It cheered me up a little, even though the scene I wrote was essentially my main character having a breakdown.  Poor thing.  She's been through a lot.  Happily, the man she had a breakdown in front of is something of a gentle giant.

Where was I?  Oh, right...

Yes, I'm ridiculously busy still, but it's been actually quite good thus far.  I almost always manage to reach my modified writing goal for these busy times (a thousand words), and often exceed it.  Yay.

So it's good, but alas there are other projects that I need to get started soon.  I promised myself this year that I'd start on the audio book versions of my books.  I haven't had the time to do it yet, and it's grating on my a bit.  I also wanted to do more drawing and painting, which I haven't had time for at all.  That bothers me, not least of all because there are four paintings I need to do for other people as gifts that I haven't even started.  These gifts are long overdue.  Gah!

I am a little overwhelmed.  Hopefully it'll all work out.  If I can not irritate myself to death over the projects I haven't started yet, I might be able to get to recording the audio books after I'm done editing/rewriting Sky Road Walker.  It's only a month and a half a way.  I can manage that, right?  As for drawing/painting... well... I will try and figure a way.  One of these days.

Alright.  Since I have so much to do, I really should get on with it.

Ciao!