Good morning, Readers!

Image by yamabon from Pixabay.

Alright, week two of blogging on Mondays. We’ll see how it goes.

There was a fair amount of FOMO this past weekend, as it’s as Ottawa ComicCon, and I wasn’t there. It was the first year since I can remember that I’ve not had a table there. The Amazing Flatmate, who is not my flatmate any more (but still amazing) was there without me, and that was very weird for the both of us, I think. I have put my name down for next year, though, in the hopes that things with this pandemic calm down and I feel more comfortable out and about in enclosed spaces with a bunch of unmasked folks.

Maybe I’ll even be in a better space with a bunch of art I can sell. It will be almost all art (and leather working stuff - I hope to have a couple of re-bound books to show off what I can do), as I’m hoping that Renaissance Press will be continuing to publish my backlist, so I don’t have to worry about them any more.

Speaking of publishing my backlist, I’m getting ready for the release of my second edition of Human. Right now, it’s a self-published title. I’m not very good at marketing, though, and I don’t have the time to be chasing up books stores to get it on bookshelves myself and I’m really just so grateful to them for taking care of all that stuff. I think when it is released, I’ll be trying to get in a couple of signings between the release date and Christmas. Maybe I can con the bookshop to get more of titles. They generally won’t stock books unless their new releases or if the author is having a new release coming out… which is why I’ve not seen Skylark or Daughters of Britain in bookshops though that is one of my dearest wishes.

Maybe I can trick the shops into carrying them for a little bit. They’re currently only available by special order. If I can get them in before the Xmas shoppers start looking for gifts, I might do alright.

Speaking of my art, though I wasn’t at ComicCon, and though I did spend a lot of time in bed recovering from the week (40 hours a week of peopling is exhausting!) I wasn’t entirely idle.

A couple of weeks ago, I spent entirely too much money on my Redbubble store ordina prints for stock for CanCon. I’m not expecting to sell much at CanCon, so I only bought one of my each of my favourites, and only one kind (they are available in multiple art formats). One of the ones I ordered I had some modifications I wanted to make. I wanted to apply god and silver foil. I managed to do that this weekend, though it took far longer to do than I thought it would. Redbubble does not muck around with its mounting… which is good… unless you’re trying to get the artwork out to modify it.

I was thinking I would do ten of them this way, and make them limited edition prints, but I’m not sure. It was a hassle to do. Maybe the one I’ll have available at CanCon will be the only one I do. Or maybe I might do just five. I haven’t decided yet.

I have two more prints headed my way.

I’m also hoping for a couple of originals to bring with me to CanCon. I have some ideas for paintings, but I’m fairly certain I don’t have the skill to pull them off. Still, I figured I could try and see how it goes. If I like any of the attempts enough, maybe I’ll bring them along.

All we can do is try.

I’m also working on a secret mystery project that I’m hoping to convert into Xmas gifts for family members, and maybe even open it up to a wider audience. We’ll see. It involves creating a master document on which I can practice, as this mystery project will require book binding, and I’ve never done that before. So, this will make a good practice piece for more projects of a similar nature that I would like to do.

Writing-wise, I’m still working on The Tournament. It’s a stage play, and I’m finding it incredibly difficult. It’s not just the formatting, but the manner of writing a stage play is so vastly different to how I write novels. When I’m writing a novel, I basically just need the main characters and the way the story ends before I start writing. How my characters get to the end of the story is as much as mystery writing it as it is for people reading it for the first time.

Writing a play is… not like that.

Right now, I’m concentring of just vomiting all my ideas in roughly chronological order onto the page and I’ll worry bout more proper formatting and cleaning up on my first edit pass. Then I’ll beg my parents to look it over. Both were (and my dad still is) involved in amateur theatre, and they knew their stuff.

I will be continuing on writing that during my usual writing time — my lunch hour at work. It’s slow going. It once took me an hour to write five lines. I’m find it frustrating as hell, but as a challenge, there’s nothing that’s quite pushed me as this project. I hate how slowly it’s going though.

I’m waiting on Beta Reader no. 2 for notes on The Lioness of Shara Mountain… not really the right phrasing, as there’s no real timeline, but from all indication, she’s enjoying it, so I’m leaning towards getting it published. I’m still not decided about it. We’ll see.

The evenings will be spent on my art, preparing for CanCon, and doing the mystery project that I might share. When CanCon is over, I hope that I can still keep the proverbial fire under my seat and continue creating art. I don’t think I’m particularly good at it, but I do love the act of it so.

Right, I’ve gabbled on. I think you’re all caught up now. Hopefully I’ll be back next Monday.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Image courtesy of Simone VomFeld from Pixabay.

So… I fell off the blogging wagon yet again. This is not good. It seems I’m still struggling to find a rhythm. This is telling me that I’m pushing too far too fast and I need to slow down yet further. For me, this is incredibly frustrating. I feel like I am already going very slow with this whole recovery from a major life change thing I’m supposed to be doing.

Maybe it’s not that I need to slow down at all. Maybe it’s that I need to start pushing myself. Maybe I need to start applying some of that self-discipline that got me working so well in the before times.

It’s incredibly difficult to tell, really. I don’t want to drag myself to the burnout zone, which I have definitely done before, ruining my recovery. But I’m also feeling anxious that I’m not doing enough, and I’m incredibly annoyed at myself for not having my shit together more.

I should have more paintings done. I should have finished the writing thing I’m working on. I should be setting up my advertising schedules for my books for the rest of this year. I should be getting proficient with my guitar. I should be starting conversational French. None of theses things have been happening. 

The only thing I’ve reclaimed for myself happens to be martial arts. I got back to training this summer, and teaching as well, and that schedule has largely worked (though there were some instances where I couldn’t make it to training for various reasons; meaning I’ve missed a fair number of classes this summer (though small, that number would have horrified me in the before times)).

I’m really looking forward to later this month, when training resumes (we’re on a break now). Even better, I get to teach three classes this September, all women’s only (beginner and intermediate kickboxing, and kung fu). I’m really looking forward to that. I adore teaching these classes.

I’m not just ranting about all of my inabilities and failures. There is a reason for this. And it does relate to the title, I promise.

Ottawa ComicCon.

I will not be there. I originally did have a table, and I was quite excited to be out in the world again. That excitement has soured some.

You see, the folks behind Ottawa ComicCon have declined to implement a mask mandate, despite this being a large function which usually means tonnes of people packed into enclosed spaces. It spikes my anxiety enough ordinarily (thank heavens I have a table to hide behind), but in the current climate, with an airborne viral pandemic that has not gone away — in fact, roughly three times more people in Ontario have died to the disease this summer compared to 2019 — it presents simply too much for me to be able to handle.

I am not mentally or emotionally prepared to face crowds of people unmasked. If I caught something there and brought it back to the people I love, I would forever be plagued by unfathomable guilt and deep, deep resentment.

This is by far the biggest reason I won’t be having a table there this year.

But there is another reason.

I’m not physically prepared. Thanks to my absolute inability to get my act together, I just don’t have the stock to fill a table. I wanted my table to be filled with paintings, with leather crafting stuff, and small sculptures. I wanted to be able to sit behind my table and be proud of what was there.

I can’t do that. I don’t have the paintings I wanted. I have no new leatherwork items, and absolutely no sculptures whatsoever. I don’t have the stock to justify having a table. And I don’t have the mental and emotional capacity to face maskless crowds for an entire weekend.

I’m quite sad to be missing it, truth be told. I love being amongst my fellow nerds, nerding out over all the cool things.

But I’m not ready yet.

And, if I’m honest, I’m not likely to be missed. Few people know my writing, fewer still care about it (and boy are those few precious to me!). I doubt there is anyone coming to Ottawa ComicCon to see me. Thank goodness. That does take a lot of pressure off.

In case there is anyone who was looking forward to my presence at Ottawa ComicCon, I’m really so sorry. I just don’t have the capacity. But I’ve made a commitment to CanCon this year (which have implemented a vaccine and mask mandate, relieving me of much of the anxiety around being out and about in an enclosed public space). I won’t have the stuff I would like for my table there, but there will be more stuff than I currently have. It’s in October, and due to Covid they’re restricting the in-person numbers this year. If you’re desperate to come see me this year, I will be there.

Alright, that’s the update for today. I have work to do so, for now, I’m off.

​Ciao!