What a year.
It was, like most years, a pretty good one and a pretty terrible one. I very nearly collapsed back into the very worst mental health space (for those of you who are new, I have clinical depression, and have struggled with it since my early teens. It was undiagnosed then, and untreated. The result was hellish — I was cutting, and had several suicide attempts. Yeah. It was a rough time for me. It's better now, thanks to a diagnosis, therapy, and occasional medications (that was new to this year, and very short term, but I want to stress that taking medication for your mental health is absolutely valid and nothing to be ashamed of.)). Anyway, I got dangerously close to all that again. I'll not go into the details, but the whole situation was really messed up and did a lot of damage.
It's been a while since it happened, though, so it hurts a little less with distance and time. I'm in a much better place now, but it still makes me extremely sad from time to time to think back on what happened and what was lost.
Since then, however, things have much improved on the personal level, once that got out of the way. I'm in a healthy place mentally. Though it is up and down, it's absolutely manageable. I'm happier and healthier, and have been improving in the last quarter or so of 2018. In short, on a personal level, 2018 was far better for me than 2017.
My physical health is on the up, too. I did manage to get an injury in my left shoulder/upper arm area that prevented me from doing much by the way of weights and other exercise. I lost a lot of my strength gains this year, after breaking for a month an a half in an effort to get my arm healed. It's still a bit weird, but there's no longer the sharp pain there when I lift. I've been back at weights for roughly a month at the writing of this, and it's been good.
My martial arts training and teaching continued to be a highlight of my life in 2018. Despite being royally fucked over by Algonquin College, who neglected to tell anyone that we no longer had a space until just a few weeks before class was due to start again in September, we nevertheless found a space to training, and train we did. My goal beginning this year was to start sparring. I did. After I started, my goal was to get in on the tall blokes to comfortably land a punch. The tall lads all have ridiculous reaches, which puts me at a distinct disadvantage. My goal was to find a way around or through that. And I did. Only once, but I did it. I'm counting that as a victory.
That is the limit of my recollections of 2018. So, let's stop relying on my own faulty brain. At the beginning of last year I decided to list out a few goals. I want to go through them and see how I went. Here's what I wrote last year:
So, 2018 writing goals, absolutely hit those out of the park. Go me!
Health goals were less successful. I had to stop weight training for too long, and midway in the year, I just stopped entirely for no reason. I've started up again for the last little bit of 2018, though, with an adjusted schedule, which I plan to keep up in 2019. So weight training wasn't a total L, but I didn't stick with it as much as I wanted, either.
No sugar... AH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH. We'll just put a big fat F on that test, shall we?
Meditate. I totally forgot that was a goal of mine. Holy hell. I didn't do it. Not even once. Welp...
Help my kick-boxing ladies. This I think I did manage alright. At least, I'm hoping I did. I even managed to get a new women's only class - traditional kung fu. It was great. My students were great. I really adore teaching women's only martial arts classes. It makes me so happy to watch women discover their strength and realise that they're far more able and amazing than they thought they were. I love it so much!
No more skipping training. Uh... so... that is also a fail. I did skip a few days without actual reason, so I also failed here. I'm not that mad about it, to be honest.
Personal goals that are optional was almost entirely a wash. I didn't do the paint along to Bob Ross thing I wanted to do. I didn't save enough for a trip to Australia. I didn't art harder at all. And I did not double my Twitch followers. To be fair, I didn't place particular emphasis or work particularly hard towards those particular goals.
I did hug my friends more, though, which I count as the biggest personal win of 2018.
Right, tomorrow, I shall go through my new goals for 2019. How did you all manage with your 2018 goals? Leave your celebrations and sorrows in the comments below!