Good morning, Readers!

I hope your holidays are filled with love and light... and ongoing!

This is written in advance, but you'll forgive me. I have family visiting from Australia, and I'm spending my time with them.

In any case, the no good very bad year is now behind us, and I want to start looking forward to 2023 to see what I can do to continue to make my life the best life for me. As usual, I've broken up the things I want to achieve into different categories. In each category there is a wish (or two), as these are things that are out of my control entirely; I can do only what I can do and fate takes the rest. Let's crack on shall we?

So... a lot to be getting on with.

In all honesty, I don't think I'll manage to get them all done in 2023, but these are goals, not resolutions. I won't beat myself up if I don't hit them all. I'm being very ambitious with this list. The trick is to do small things. It is the small things that combine to make a big thing. That's how things are achieved.

​What about you. What do you hope to achieve in 2023?

Good morning, Readers!

I know! A post in the morning! Things are insane over here!

Looking back on 2022 is like trying to peer through fog... Unsurprisingly, given the effects on trauma on short term memory (hint: it interrupts the development of memories). 2022 was not a good year for me. There were some bright spots, but overall, it was a not good very bad year (TM). However, I will say that the challenges that slammed into me turned out, largely, to create a better situation (once they'd passed), even if they wrecked my ability to create and caused me so much stress, and felt pretty terrible at the time.

There were many blessings this year that I am profoundly grateful for.

For starters, my friends, who will be called T2, who lived in the same building as I did in the first half of the year were a bloody godsend. Their company and gentle reassurance, and their listening skills were wonderful. When I first moved into the previous apartment, they made sure I was fed when I was too depressed to feed myself. Their companionship was a boon and I am so, so grateful for them. Thank you so much for all you did while I shared your building.

The forced eviction, while it seemed at the time was just another curse of 2022, was also a blessing. Despite the stress of trying to find a place, and all the nonsense (last minute cancellation of movers etc) that followed, I moved into my current apartment. While it's not perfect, my current place is fantastic. For the same price as much, much, much smaller studio apartments, I have a two bedroom flat which gives me both a bedroom and a studio/office. I've made full use of that room (though not as much as I would like, given my time constraints).  Best of all, I live there alone with my cat, and that is such a necessary, perfect arrangement for me. Despite having to work the whole time, thus slowing down my healing time, coming home to space that is mine where I don't feel caged and constantly on the verge of a panic attack is wonderful. I got the space I needed to recover not just from the first half of 2022, but the later part of 2021, which I still hadn't managed to do because of the above.

It's a bit of a mess at the moment, but it's still a slice of heaven, and I'm so, so grateful for it.

As an aside, I'd like to thank Jim for his very kind offer of a place to live when it looked like I was going to be homeless for a while. It was incredibly kind, and it really did help to know that I wouldn't have to give up my cat in order to find a place. While I ultimately chose to spend more money on a monthly basis for a much-needed place of my own, that offer made everything so much easier for me. It's not really possible to explain how wonderful that was. Thank you.

I also managed to finish a manuscript. The Lioness of Shara Mountain was the first full novel I wrote in a long time. And it's not a terrible story. I am a bit biased, but still... It's decent. I'm looking forward to releasing it in 2023.

I created more art than ever before in 2022. Not since my art class in high school was I this productive with art. I learnt new skills; including watercolour, which I'm enjoying. Going from not being able to create at all to all the paintings I've done - whether or not they're any good - is amazing. I'm incredible grateful for it.

Similarly, I gave Soldier another chance. It has been sent away to a publisher I really like, which was open to unagented manuscripts for the first time in something like five years. The email that confirmed receipt of the manuscript listed the pronouns of the sender, and I found that extremely gratifying. I'm not trans, but I have trans friends I care a great deal about, and the inclusion of pronouns lets me know that these folks are at least mindful of inclusion. I found myself wishing harder that they become my publisher, because the kind of people who are mindful of inclusivity are the kind of people I want to work with.

I also rejoined my martial arts school. Reconnecting with those fine folks and getting my body moving in fun ways again was a balm for my soul.

And lastly, I was able to attend the wedding of The Amazing Flatmate. It was beautiful and fun, though exhausting. Socialising is always exhausting for me, and I was wildly out of practice. It was great to be there though. She looked stunning and so happy, and it was quite touching. My heart was very full.

The last blessing was you. All of you. You stuck with me when I was an absolute mess of a person. You supported me and kept me sane.  Your kindness is an incredible blessing.

I'm still recovering a bit. I still get bouts of productivity-killing fatigue; days when I need to spend the whole time asleep. But I'm no long struggling as much as I was, and I'm actually excited for 2023. It's been a long time since the future felt exciting, that it was something I wanted to be there for.

There's a lot I want to get done, and next week, I'll be picking up the objectives list I used to do for the new year.

Thank you, everyone, for being with me when I wasn't very nice to be around. You're all lovely.

Have yourselves a brilliant holidays. I'll see you in a week.

​Ciao!

Good afternoon, Readers!

Image by Michaela from Pixabay

I forgot to write a blog post last week, which is a shame, because I had things to say!

First and foremost: thank you everyone for joining the virtual book launch. I was launching the 2nd edition of Human, which Renaissance Press very graciously agreed to publish. I was not the only one to launch, though. There were four other incredible publications, all of which I can highly recommend.

If you missed it, don't be sad. You can find the full recording below. I must apologise for the audio during my reading. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, the computer switched up the microphone from my podcasting mic to something else. So my reading is particularly difficult to hear. Because of course it is.

Luckily, everyone else is clear and awesome. Anyway, here it is:

Books are a great Xmas gift, and I do think that any of these would be a great choice!

I have some news I'm sitting on until I get more information, and that's all I'm going to say about that. If you're on my newsletter mailing list, you'll know before everyone else... except my mother, who already knows. Sorry.

I will say, though, that I am both terrified and excited by this opportunity, and I'm really hoping that it proves to be a roaring success.

I've been gearing up to return to writing, by which I mean my mal-adaptive daydreaming is starting to become problematic again. When this Xmas period is over, I will have more free time at lunch hour and in the evenings, so I should be able to get on with some projects. Ideally, I'll start publishing The Lioness of Shara Mountain come February, beta readers dependent. I still have one more beta reader to get it through after beta reader two is done with the manuscript, so that timeline is a little tight, be we'll see.

I have so many projects I started but haven't finished, and I really need to get those done. I will create a list for the New Year.

Speaking of, I feel I'm healed enough from the last two years to restart my yearly goals and objectives (not resolutions - those are dumb). Included in my goals for 2023 is to save up for and buy a folk harp. I would love a large one (36 or 38  string), but I did find a 27 string that would work to begin with while I learn. Maybe if I get good, I can livestream a concert every once in a while. It's not the cheapest thing in the world, but with some saving, it's not totally out of reach. Just... no PS5 this year, is all.

Speaking of consoles, I have taken a break from livestreaming my terrible gaming for now, until the New Year. I will begin again when visiting family return home. Since I know I'm getting it for Xmas, I can safely say that I will be streaming God of War: Ragnarok to relaunch my streaming. I'm excited. I loved the 2018 God of War, and I can't wait to get stuck into the sequel.

Next week's blog post will be a look back at this year... if I can remember most it. Chances are not great.

Thank you for sticking with me while I was such a wreck. You are wonderful!

​Ciao!