I stopped, not because I disliked it exactly, but I disliked hitting people. It was fine if they blocked, but if I got a good shot in, I would feel absolutely terrible. And apologise. I'm sure that was annoying to the people I was sparring against. Hell, it annoyed me.
Last night, I found out that I still feel bad for landing shots, and I still apologise. Weirdly, I only do that if it's a punch. I don't have that reaction to kicks I land well. I think I feel like I have more control over my kicks, oddly enough, and I never kick to the face. Maybe it's the hitting of the face that makes me feel awful. Hm....
Anyway, the point is that I had a lot of fun last night. I would like to point out that half the reason I enjoyed it so much, was because everyone was controlled and relaxed. They all understood, as few of them before seemed to, that sparring was not a fight. No one is keeping score. There are no declared winners at the end. It's literally just time for you to try and work out how to do the things you need to do to get the result that you want while the other person is doing the same.
For myself, I really need to learn how to get in on people much larger than I, with much longer reaches. There are three men in class who are tall, with long arms and legs. That means that they can hit me long before I am in range to do damage to them back. I really struggle with getting in. It's frustrating, but that's why I need to spar. So I can learn.
I expect a lot of frustration in the coming months. Especially facing Rob, Martin and Olivier. Those tall bastards. *Grumble*
I had been a little scared to jump back into sparring. Part of it was bad experiences with people who were out for a power trip. Those people aren't sparring this semester, so I'm good there. The other, greater, part was the constant fear that I'd really hurt someone. That's something I need to work on.
That and getting in on people with stupid long reaches.
You pack of gibbons.