It's actually pretty typical in the life of a writer.
It sucks giant hairy balls.
The thing is, I really thought I had a winner with this one. I love this story so much. It's really good, and I'm really excited to share it with the world.
So, now I'm faced with a dilemma. Do I continue to shop it in the (increasingly vain) hope that someone else loves it as well? Or do I forget about doing that and bring the book to the world myself (self-publish).
The thing is, while I have a lot of fun self-publishing my stuff, I still really crave a traditional contract. And, the book would reach a wider audience if I managed to get it published traditionally. It so deserves a wide audience.
Then again, if I continue to shop this manuscript and literally no one is biting, what value does the story have, trapped as it is in an endless cycle of submission and rejection.
There's also the issue of pride. I've never self-published anything because I couldn't get it traditionally published. It's always because I wanted to self-publish it. I've always argued that self-publishing isn't just for people who cannot find a publisher.
I don't know guys. I don't know. I'm sad and feeling less hopeful about this story's chances at a traditional contract; even though I really love this story, and I think it's really good.
Of course, I'm not the best judge. I'm the one who wrote it, after all. Really the people who should be the judge are the readers.... to whom this story may never get... unless I self-publish.
I don't know, guys. I don't know.
I have some thinking to do. Until then, I'm off to learn Welsh. And possibly cry.