Autumn is my favourite time of the year. It's a season of change (and boy are there changes this autumn!), and it usually feels so promising to me. It still feels that way, despite everything. Every autumn I feel like good things are coming.
Snow, obviously, I quite like.
I don't understand why the changing leaves and cooling weather do that too my mood - fill me with hope. Objectively, nothing remarkable has ever come my way following the autumn, and all that calm and hope appears to be for naught.
And still, every year, as the weather cools and the leaves change, I find myself feeling so hopeful about what's to come. I'm trying to hold onto that feeling, because if I think too hard about my uncertain financial situation, then I start to get depressed again.
I have to say, speaking to the Amazing Flatmate has been good. She's a freelancer, and she's always managed. Hearing her experience, plus her general air of reassurance puts me more at ease. Still, without CERB, I'm not sure how I'm going to make it. I have EI. But what if it runs out? A thousand thoughts and stressors run through my mind pretty much all the time.
Yet today I'm feeling hopeful, as I watch the trees change colour and welcome the change in weather. Maybe I'll be alright after all. At least, that's how I feel this morning.
Right, back to packing.