Something I have noticed is that my energy levels have increased, particularly of a morning. I've noticed that my naps on the bus on the way to work have stopped. I just don't need them. I'm awake and alert, and in good spirits. While I'm normally in good spirits in the morning, I'm also generally still tired, and snooze a little on the bus. Having dealt with horrible fatigue pretty much all my life, this small change was absolute the most noticeable, weirdest experience ever. I've never, ever woken up feeling refreshed.
This past week was good for that.
And it's so weird.
Also, my energy levels at martial arts training at the end of the night are similarly high. I don't gas as quickly or for as long, I'm able to work harder for longer, and usually, at the end of the night, I have enough energy to go for a run. I haven't gone for a run. Because it's winter outside, and running on Ottawa footpaths in the winter is begging for a broken ankle. I might, though, when the warmer weather hits.
So, that's the first noticeable change I've experienced since starting I.F.
It's only been a week, though, and I'm keeping a careful eye on things. I've ruined my metabolism before following terrible dieting advice, and I've spent the past two years focussing on healing the damage to my body, and the terrible relationship to food and my own body that I've managed to acquire over the years.
If things start going downhill, I'll definitely be readjusting my trajectory.
One of the many pitfalls of I.F. that I've come across in my research is how, like many things that have to do with food and body image, it's a very small jump from it to a full blown eating disorder. I've skirted eating disorders once or twice, so I know the warning signs. Thank heavens for therapy, which showed me where I started to go wrong and why. So, I'm also in touch with my therapist (or, at least, the office. My therapist has retired and I'm without currently). They're really good about answering quick texts without charging, which is nice. If ever I feel like I'm about to teeter over the edge again, I will book an appointment.
As many of you know, I struggle a lot with depression. Attached to that is, of course, a whole unpleasant stew of related issues, not least of all are body image issues. It's a struggle keeping everything in check, but I have a lot of love and support from family and friends, and access to mental health care when I need it. I have a lot that others do not have access to, and it helps so, so much.
I share my story so publicly because honestly it wasn't until people started sharing their stories that I realised I wasn't alone, and it empowered me to seek help. Sharing stories is how we end stigmas, find tribes, and help each other along in our healing journeys.
On that note, I wish you so much love and help and support on your own journey, and I'm here for you. You can heal.
Right, I have to go to the gym in less than an hour, and I have a lot of work still to do today. Have yourselves a lovely day.
Update: It is now 1:30pm, and I've returned from the gym (strength training today) and I've weighed myself. I've apparently lost just under 1kg (that's a squeech over 2.2lbs, and right in line with healthy weight loss, so I'm not nervous about it). Now I need to eat lunch.