Good morning, Readers!

So, last night I posted to Twitter THIS article.  For those of you too lazy to click through and read, it's basically an article about Lucy Lawless wanting to bring Xena: The Warrior Princess back.  I said that I would love it if that happened.  I credit Xena in part for the kind of woman I grew up to be.

It was not so well received by one gentleman.  To start with, he claimed the show to be campy SciFi.  Yes, SciFi. And the problem with SciFi, in his esteem, is that it has all gone to camp.  None of it is done well.  When pointed out that Xena: Warrior Princess is genre, it certainly isn't SciFi, he expanded his scope.  All genre has gone all campy all the time and is not done well.

I was taken aback, to say the least.  I mean, surely he must only be talking about TV (though his assertion is wrong even if he was), because there are a large number of phenomenal genre books out there that aren't campy in the slightest (ahem...  Malazan Book of the Fallen series....).  When I pointed out some brilliant genre shows that were done spectacularly in both film and television (Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, Battlestar Galatica, just to name a few), he fired back with "ever superhero movie/show ever" and a couple of other examples including the recent comeback of Ash (Army of Darkness, etc).

Blinking, because though Superhero movies and television does have a fair amount of camp attached to them, and some of them are done quite badly (looking at you X-Men Origins: Wolverine), many of them tackle quite deep issues.  Blind prejudice, for one (X-Men), the problem of unmitigated power (Captain America), so on and so forth.  You probably don't need me to spoon feed you this stuff.

I hope.

I blinked some more and asked what was so wrong with camp anyway?  Why can't we have fun in genre?  What the point if we're not having fun?

Then the truth came out.  He's a writer struggling to be seen, just like myself.  Only he feels personally slighted that his efforts at serious, meaningful genre have been unnoticed while, and this is almost a direct quote, "hacks write for the semi-literate."

Look, I understand the frustration of multiple rejections.  I've been there... am there.  I am currently waiting to be there again (though seriously hoping that I won't this time around.  Fingers crossed!).  They suck.  They sting.  They're so utterly depressing, particularly when you see poorly written, populist drivel get those coveted publishing contracts.  I'm not naming names, but I'm pretty sure everyone can name at least two books they can't believe received a contract.

Only here's the thing, fellow writers.  We ourselves are not the best, most objective arbiters of what is good and what is not.  We may think we are geniuses, labouring under the weight of the lowest common denominator but are we really?  The answer, most of the time, is no.  No, we're not.  We write stuff we think is great.

However, we may be the only ones who think so.  We're all going to have to grapple with that idea.  Maybe, just maybe, what we're writing isn't nearly as genius or original as we think it is.  Maybe, just maybe, those rejections are coming for an actual reason other than "they only want crap for to appeal to the multitude of idiots."

Perhaps some introspection is required.  Perhaps we should stop being so defensive and start looking to improve ourselves and our craft.  Doubling down will get us nowhere, and there is always room to improve.

For the record, no one who reads extensively is an idiot, so can we drop that, thank you very much.  Even if they enjoy a good campy read, they're still not idiots.  How on earth can a writer expect to sell to an audience if they don't respect that audience?  Seriously, though.  Stop calling readers idiots/"semi-literate"/whatever other slur you feel like spouting.  It's so very untrue.

That said, it may be very true that what you've written is a work of genius and no one else (other than your mother) can see it.  Here's the thing, though: in this day and age, there are options.  If you believe in your work so very much, self-publish.  Do the marketing (urgh... I hate marketing).  Get yourself out there.  If your work is as good as you claim, make the world aware it's there.

Stop railing against camp in genre.  The fact that campy genre exists is not a problem.  Not in the least.  It's not a zero sum game.  It is entirely possible, indeed it is the actual case, that there is room for both campy and serious genre.  There can be, and is, both.

Furthermore, just because something is campy does not mean that it is without value.  Xena: Warrior Princess was pure camp, yes.  But it taught an eleven-year-old me that women can be strong, they can be powerful, they can stand up and fight (quite literally) to make the world a better place.

Campy or no, we need more of that.

And now I'm off the learn more Welsh.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

I was paid yesterday.  Yay!

I paid off some bills, bought cat food because we were almost out, and then went grocery shopping.  I blew my budget by a substantial amount this trip.  Le sigh.  But on the bright side, I have a full fridge again and that always improves my mood.

I'm very proud that I bought absolutely no crap.

It was very tempting.  When you've nothing to eat, your body naturally craves the foods with the most calories.  The urge to throw a packet of chips in my cart was surprisingly overwhelming.  I didn't, though.  There's the whole heart health thing the I'm worried about.

In any case, breakfast this morning was enormous (for me, considering the past couple of weeks!).  Two boiled eggs, a sausage, a piece of toast with Vegemite (it would have been two, but I forgot the bread I bought yesterday at home this morning), and a small peach.  Sure beats two slices of toast...

Being worried for my health pretty much constantly (history of nasty diseases and heart problems in my family), and knowing that I was dangerously under-eating last year and not realising it, I've taken to using My Fitness Pal again.  It's a great little website that let's you keep track of your food intake and exercise output.  It's used as a weight loss app mostly, but I'm using it as a make sure you're eating enough, you dolt app.  Here is what today's food intake looks like:

Now this astonishing amount of food is only slightly over what my body needs to maintain it's function -  the usual things your body needs energy for like breathing, brain function, etc.  Which is to say, it's just slightly over 1300 calories.

Now, I'm training tonight, and, apparently, you're supposed to eat back the calories you use when exercising.  That means, guys, that I'm roughly 1300 calories short.  Even after all that food on today's menu.

I have just one question.  Who the hell eats that much?  Who?  How is that humanly possible?  I mean, I finished breakfast an hour and half ago, and I'm so full!

There is some hope, however.  I've read that there is a propensity for programmes like this to under estimate the number of calories in food and over estimate the number of calories expended during exercise.  So even though it looks like I'm not eating quite enough, I probably am.  Or, at least, I'm not so dangerously under the number of calories I need to function properly.

I'm in a weird position of being chubby and under-eating.  It is possible.  As we all know, it's far more complicated than calories in vs calories out.  If you don't know that by now, I recommend some serious Googling.

I'm a bit in two minds about monitoring my food intake so closely, I have to admit.  I don't want to develop an unhealthy relationship with food.  I don't want to be one of those people who obsesses over every bite that goes into my body.  That seems like a horrible way to live life.  So, I am using this as a guide.  I figure if I hover around my required intake and eat well most of the time, I should be just fine.  Really, what I'm watching closely is my sugar intake.  I want to make sure I don't exceed my recommended daily allowance of sugar.

And now I turn it over to you, Readers.  What is your relationship to food, and how do you manage it?  Seriously, though.  After eating only bread and lentils for two weeks, I'm a little food obsessed.  Hit me with your food stories, people!

Good morning, Readers!

So, today I want to talk a little about manners.  I know, I know.  Look at me being a crotchety old woman complaining about people's manners.  And you know what?  Apart from the 'old', you're absolutely right.  But I want to talk specifically about how the idea of good manners seems to be a gendered one.

I'm talking specifically about the word 'no.'

I was, in part, raised by my grandmother, who would accompany us every evening for dinner (she had her own little granny flat in our yard... it was a big yard).  She would keep us all in line, ensuring we said our pleases and thank yous.

Yes, please.

No, thank you.

These are the polite ways to accept or refuse something.

However, I'm increasingly becoming aware of even polite refusal being considered rude... if it's coming from a woman.

Ah!  Feminism!  Run screaming now!

Right, now we've gotten rid of the idiots, let's continue...

Now, it is expected that for a woman to refuse something (an invitation, a gift, a proposition... whatever), there must be some reason for it.  Here's the thing, though.  That reason, whether it's that she's got other plans/is currently seriously dating/simply does not want to is none of anyone's business but hers.  Yet, women are conditioned to try and please, so it is expected that she explain why she's refusing... and "I just don't want [insert thing being refused]" is apparently not enough of a reason ('cause who cares what the woman wants, ammirite?).  "No, thank you" is a perfectly reasonable, perfectly polite refusal.  It requires no further elaboration.

Demanding or expecting one is, frankly, rude.  Mind your own beeswax.

Entitlement check: it is not rude for a woman to refuse whatever it is you're offering.  She's a person, with her own thoughts, feelings and goals.  She doesn't exist for your entertainment.  As long as she doesn't sneer, or throw vitriol, as long as her response was some variation of "No, thank you" she was not being rude.  Get over yourself.

This idea that a woman must please and therefore there must be an adequate reason for her refusal has led to women feeling unsafe merely saying, "No, thank you."  It's always "No, thank you.  [Insert excuse, whether legitimate or fabricated]."  Women feel they have to lie, even if they're being perfectly polite, to protect the feelings of the person offering something they don't want.

And sometimes, even that doesn't work.

Only read that link if you feel like having a rage stroke today.  Also read that link if you're the type of person who says, "Women are such liars.  They should just be straightforward." or any variation of that idiocy..

I have been accused of being rude simply because I responded with a polite, "No, thank you."  Mind you, I ended it there.  I didn't extrapolate.  It was none of the guy's business.  Fortunately, I have an epic resting bitch face, which I use to my full advantage, and I'm fairly broadly built.  So the worst I've ever received is a few loudly uttered cusses shot in my direction as a guy walks away.  Many women have it far worse.

All because some people feel women are being rude when they say "No, thank you."

Just to clarify, "No." is a little rude.  "No, thank you."  Perfectly polite.

If you demand an explanation from someone who has refused you, you are sticking your nose into other people's business.  And that is ill-mannered indeed.

(The whole "No = Rude" idiotic equation is one of the many reasons I detest the song Rude by Magic.  That's a blog post in itself, really)

The same can be said for disagreements.  It is possible to disagree with someone and not be rude about it.  Stating your position with conviction is not rude.  It becomes rude the moment you stray away from the logic of your position and start name calling, cursing or otherwise being obnoxious.  That behaviour certainly is rude.

Disagreeing and stating why is not rude.

And here's the kicker.  I've seen disagreements between men that were perfectly polite.  The parties in question never reached an agreement, amicably deciding the agree to disagree.  The dynamic is exceptionally different when the gender of one of the parties is switched.  A woman disagreeing with a man is often attacked as being rude, or overly aggressive or some other nonsense.

When in fact she was merely stating her case.

I once had a discussion with a man that ended because he called me a bully (and a Feminazi... yawn.  How original) merely because logic could not sustain his opinion.  Seriously, though.  I've made a small study of logic as a discipline, and he was committing fallacies all over the place in a desperate effort to convince me that writers who failed at writing women characters were still good writers.  I went ever so far as to ensure I never used "You're wrong" (even though he was) and instead opted for "I disagree."  Nope.  That was no good.

He told me I was rude.

That was when I lost my temper and actually became rude.

It is incredibly frustrating to watch men have perfectly amicable disagreements with one another, and then be called rude when you dare to disagree with a man.

Here's the thing, what people consider good manners appears to be different depending on whether the person they're judging happens to present as male or female.

That sucks balls.

Ladies, a simple "No, thank you" is perfectly polite.  Demand good manners from the person demanding an explanation from you.

Ladies, "I disagree" is perfectly polite.

Gentlemen, a simple "No, thank you" is perfectly polite.  You are not owed more than that.  Stop demanding it.  It's rude.

Gentlemen, "I disagree" is perfectly polite.

Now, obviously this is based on generalisations.  There are men who know what good manners actually are, and don't behave like entitled douchecanoes.  There are women who don't know what good manners actually are, and have the same entitlement issues I'm writing against here.  However, to stand up and deny that women face an overwhelming difference in the expectations of good manners based on gender is incredibly disingenuous.  You may, of course, politely disagree with me.

And that's okay too.

The key, of course, is that it is a polite disagreement.

Now, get out in the world and practice good manners, everyone!

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

I found these stickers on Facebook yesterday:

They crack me up.

I've cheered up a lot since yesterday.  This had much to do with last night, as it was the weekly table top RPG campaign the test out my friend Eric's system.  Yes, that would be Eric of JenEric Designs.  There are a number of players, so it got loud, and really, really funny.  It's a great group and we giggle a lot.  So much fun!  Getting together with really good people always makes me feel better about life, no matter how shitty it is at the moment.

It also helps that I had a productive day yesterday.  I did all the things that were on my to-do list, including editing four chapters of Sky Road Walker.  It's taking longer than I thought, but I think that's because I'm having the computer read the manuscript back to me.  I'm catching all kinds of small errors that I overlooked last time.

For those who struggle with self-editing, a really good trick is to have the computer read the manuscript back to you.  You catch most of the awkward phrasing, any pronoun or verb tense errors and  silly spelling mistakes.  It's not fool proof, though.  You have to keep your eyes peeled as well.

There actually isn't that much to report...

The scar I received on the inside of my arm after the Spartan Race is healing nicely.  There's a report... that literally no one asked for...

Meh.  I haven't much to say.  Since that is the case, I shall leave you and start my Welsh lesson.  Have a good day, all!

Ciao!
.

Good morning, Readers!

The cat's out of the bag.  I don't know how to adult.  At all.

My pride has taken several hits over the past week.

I've had to ask for help.

I hate asking for help.  I feel like it is a failure on my part to require help.  In truth, it is.  I failed to budget properly, to plan properly, to spend prudently.

Many of you know that I've been flat broke for the better part of two weeks.  So broke, in fact, that I was living on toast and Vegemite (the Vegemite had been given to me, so I didn't pay for it) and boiled lentils for the past little while.  I don't recommend that diet to anyone, by the by.  I mean, I love my Vegemite as much as the next Australian, but having to ration a loaf of bread sucks balls.

I've been hungry a lot these past few days.

I tried to keep it light and fluffy - hah hah, starving artist - but honestly, I'm tearing up a little writing this.  That's how hungry I was.  There is nothing quite so dispiriting as an empty refrigerator.

Ladies and gentlemen, I will be turning 32 in a few months.

I'm 32 years old, employed full time and I can't even afford groceries.

I feel like a complete failure right now, to be honest.  How, how, how am I 32 and still living like I'm a seventeen year old university student away from parental supervision for the first time in her life?  How did I manage to pull off that spectacular deficiency?

And you know what had me the most worried?  Not that I would run out of bread before I got paid.  Nope.  My biggest concern was that I wouldn't have enough to buy stock for the upcoming C.O.N. Market.  I'm completely out of stock at present.  I need a fair few coins to order in enough.

So, despite hating every second of it, I asked my brother to help me out.  Thankfully he said yes, because he's cool and generous like that.  But I feel sick to my stomach that I had to ask at all.  I feel like I'm taking advantage of his coolness.  I'm not.  I will be paying him back.  I just... asking for help, particularly financial help, makes me nauseous.

Yeah, sure my brother has a well-paying job and far out-earns me, but my dreams are not his responsibilities.  I should be able to get this shit together myself.

At the moment, however, I simply can't.

It has really brought me very low.

Even with the promise to pay him back.

Having wonderful friends also means that sometimes you don't have to ask for help for help to come anyway.  Friends of mine sent the Amazing Flatmate home with some food for me yesterday.  It really was very sweet, and so, so kind (which is just typical of them, actually.  I know some amazing people).  It still stung my ego a little bit.  There was a great deal of chagrin that came with accepting the food.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful (guys, I ate something other than lentils for dinner last night, and I thought I was in heaven!).  It's just... well... It shouldn't have to come to this.  I shouldn't be getting free food from friends because they're worried for me.  This is, pardon my language, fucking ridiculous.  I'm supposed to be an adult!

Again.  32.

I debated whether or not I should press the publish button on this blog post, because I'm not looking for a pity party.  This isn't a cry for help!  Keep your non-perishables for yourselves!  But I did decide long ago that I wanted to be open and honest with my readers and this is a part of my life at the moment.  Sometimes, guys, life just doesn't go the way you imagined it would.  Sometimes, you're eating nothing but bread and lentils at 32.

Also, don't send me any money, either... unless it's to buy my books.  I can handle that, because at least this way, you're also getting something of value out of the arrangement.  At least that way, I'll feel like I earnt the money coming my way.

Thank you, to all my friends and to my brother for helping me out so much.  I'm struggling with accepting help as a general concept - I spent most of my time growing up being by myself doing things for myself.  I very rarely asked for help even when I should have.  That said, I really am grateful for your aid, and I owe you so very much.

I feel like needing (genuinely needing rather than just wanting) help has made me a failure... you know, even more than I already felt I was (those rejection letters are piling up).  Instead of merely failing at my chosen profession, however, I now fee like I'm failing at life.

Can I just build a pillow fort and hide there forever?

So, in case there are any other adults out there who are not adulting well, know you're not alone.  At least one other person is failing at life too.  We should start a club.  There would be cookies, but ...

Anyway, things are looking up, and I should be back to my usual self soon.  On that note, I have a Welsh lesson to get finished!  Thank heavens for free podcasts...


Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

A couple of days ago, I posted on my Facebook Page that I wanted one of these:

I received word that a friend of mine had a Wacom Bamboo pad and pen that I could have if I wanted.  For some reason, it wasn't working on her new system and she said that if I could get it to work on my computer, I could have it.  She delivered the same day.

I hooked it up yesterday and.... It works!  I gave it a shot with the digital drawing software I have and... it works!  The drawing was total shit, but the device totally worked.  In fact, you can use the pen and pad for pretty much anything.

So a giant thanks to D.E. for delivering this to me.  It's really incredibly generous of you, and I appreciate it so very much.

I will be spending the next few weeks getting used to the pen and pad.  Since it can be used for web browsing as well, I'm doing that just to get used to the functionality and to increase my precision.  I keep trying to use it like a mouse, whereby if I lift the pen up, the cursor will remain where it is, and I can put the pen anywhere on the pad and the cursor will remain where I left it.

Not so.  The pad is precisely like a pen and paper.  If I lift the pen and put it elsewhere on the pad, the cursor immediately moves to that location on screen.

It's taking some getting used to, I tell ya!  My skills definitely are improving, though.  If all goes well, I shall attempt to do my first digital drawing on Friday.

The key here is to not get frustrated that my first (technically second, but first proper) attempt is not perfect.  This is an issue for me.  I might seem relatively laid back in person, but I have a terrible perfectionist streak!

Right, I have to go attempt Welsh once more.

I'm really excited about this new toy!  Art!  Yay!

I should go though.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Okay, so, Sunday I ran my first ever Spartan Race.

I say "ran."  What I meant is I jogged halfway up the first hill and walked forever after.  Ahem...

To be perfectly honest, I'm not all that thrilled with my performance.  My time crossing the finish line was 2:06:58.  I reckon I could've done a better time.

I also failed most of the obstacles.  Climbing the nets and crawling through the mud under barbed wires was fine.  Jumping over hay bales?  Fine.  I had help with the tall walls, so... fine... I guess?  I made it over in any case.  Throwing a spear?  Nope.  Crossing the monkey bars?  Nope.  Getting across the rings?  Nope.  Horizontal rock climbing?  Nope.  The rope climb?  Nope.

I did the sandbag carry well enough.  The jerry can carry was alright, but I opted for the less difficult option.  The parallel bars was done, but I cheated and did it the "girly way."

I did a lot of burpees.  A lot.

I did rock the shit out of the tyre flipping, though.

I'm not really all that proud of myself.

Yes, I finished the race.  Woot!  That's a good thing.  I know a fair few people don't.  I just... I don't know.  I don't feel like I accomplished anything.

I did get good and dirty, though!

I detest having my photo taken, and so will rarely have one done properly... Also... what is my thumb doing in the first one?!

What the race did do was show me how far I need to go in order to complete the race to my satisfaction.  I have two new goals:

1. Complete all the obstacles at the same level of difficulty as the guys.  I'm not proud that I played my gender card here.  Also, I don't think it should have been an option for girls only - at least on the bodyweight stuff.  Either get rid of that, or let the guys have an easy option as well.

2. Run the distance between each obstacle.  Or at least jog.  NO WALKING.

I intend to run three more Spartan races.  Next year's race, I will be jogging the course.  That is my goal.  If I manage that, than even if I don't complete all the obstacles, I'll at least have achieved one of my goals.

The following Spartan Race I intend to jog between each obstacle as well as complete each obstacle.  It doesn't have to be fast, but it does have to be done right.

If I manage to get all of my goals, I'll stop running the race.

All that aside, the race was fun.  I ran with my Kung Fu brother Jerry.  Even getting muddy was really fun.  The funnest part about that was hearing the races behind me complain about it.  The loudest complaints came from the guys.  It was pretty damned funny.

I'm glad I did it.  I will be doing it again (I have things to achieve, damn it!).  I'm not quite sure why I don't feel as if I did much.  It's a huge accomplishment, isn't it?

I don't know what's going on.  I will try and figure it out as I work on my Welsh today.

Ciao!