Good morning, Readers!

I've been debating for quite a while on whether or not to write this piece. You see, it's quite a delicate matter, and I totally understand the perspective I'm going to be arguing against, and they do have a point. That's the kind of subject this is.

There is a lot of chatter amongst the LGBTQ community about representation, and how little of it they get. They're right. There needs to be more representation. There is also particular anger over the almost-representation that has been dubbed Queer-Baiting. That is, the idea of intimating gayness without ever explicitly portraying it. You know, loving touches, long looks, BUT NEVER SHOW THEM KISSING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

There is a lot to be said for this phenomenon. There are undoubtedly instances where this is, in fact, the intention. Let's make it gay, BUT DON'T SAY IT'S GAY! This constant teasing, this constant not-quite-representation must be frustrating for those who so desperately crave seeing themselves reflected in the media they consume.

Yet, in so doing, in so claiming all of these depictions as Queer-Baiting does something I don't think too many who use it as a battlecry think about - it erases asexuality and the asexual experience. It devalues platonic love.

You see, it's not like asexuals do not experience love. We do. And the lack of sex involved in that love doesn't make that love any less real, powerful, or profound. Friendships for folk like me run deep and weighty - for which we would tear the world down, just as sexual folks might for one another. Asexual affection often manifests in ways that folks may assume mean something more than they do - touches, long looks, holding, murder... you know, the usual. Okay, maybe not the murder, but you know what I mean. There is nothing sexual behind any of these actions, but there certainly is a lot of love.

This can be difficult for folks to grapple with, I suppose, especially if they've been brainwashed by the ridiculous modern insistence that affection and admiration must be sexual in nature.

One of the examples that sticks out most in my mind, only because it was one of the first things that clued me into the fact that I was so different from everyone else around me, was The Lord of the Rings. For many around me, the films were their only direct exposure to Tolkein's epic. I have distinct memories of the people talking about Sam and Frodo in the films.

GAAAAAAAAAAY, was the derisive conclusion. I was and am simultaneously annoyed and saddened. Is there love between Frodo and Sam, absolutely! And it is powerful, as love tends to be. But gay? I didn't see gay. I saw two friends who went through hell together, who loved each other, and would stand by one another until the end... like friends are supposed to? I wondered if any of the people screaming GAY at the top of their lungs ever really had true friends. I felt sad for them, because I suspect they did not.

It's also the reason I get really pissed off when folks start 'shipping' good friends in stories or real life. Granted, starved for representation in media, it's only natural that people might start making up their own. I can't really fault them for that. And honestly, fan stories that revolve around those non-canon ships can be absolutely exceptional writing.

But.

It does erase friendship, and affection between friends. It erases platonic/asexual love; and does nothing more than to reinforce the idea that platonic love cannot be as strong, as deep, as meaningful as the love between people who also fuck. It makes friends fearful of being affectionate in public, because everyone will start screaming GAAAAAY at them. There's nothing wrong with gayness, for the record, but I can imagine it would get exhausting and frustrating to have to continually deny it if you're not.

And this has very real repercussions. How many women are the sole source of affection for their partners, burdened with being their literal everything? How many women are forced to carry their boyfriend's emotional baggage? There are studies that confirm that physical affection is incredibly important for human beings, but men aren't permitted to seek or attain affectionate touch from their male friends for fear of the GAAAAY! And their female friends? Forget it. Clearly it's all about getting in her pants or it should be, and if it's not GAAAAAAY. This utter bullshit has real, and potentially devastating effects on their psyche, and their significant others are forced to carry that burden. It's not right. It's not fair.

Women, in this one instance, have an advantage. No one thinks twice about women offering one another a hug, or an affectionate peck, or a protracted, comforting cuddle.

Sometimes there is Queer-Baiting intent in media representation. Sometimes, there is a deliberate skirting of representation. And I absolutely believe that there needs to be more LGBTQ representation in media. But often, more often than not, what we're seeing is two very good friends who love one another deeply, but would be just as likely to fuck the painting on the wall as each other.

Sometimes, it would be nice if people didn't forget the A in the queer acronym.

Asexuallity is real. We're here. We exist.

And our love is just as profound.

Stop erasing us.

Please.

And for the love of all things good and green, normalise platonic affection. For everyone's sake.

Right. That's it. That's all I wanted to say.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Back again with another character from The Untamed​.

This time, I want to gush about Lan Xichen, Lan Wangji's older brother. The dude is wonderful.

Technically the head of the Lan Clan, this dude is so humble he relinquishes most of his authority to his uncle, whom he considers more experienced and wiser. Lan Xichen is one of those brilliant characters that show that men aren't all aggression and idiocy.

He is, like his brother, an expert swordsman, and a powerful cultivator. But it never goes to his head. He treats everyone well, even those that may be treated poorly by others based on class. He forms a close bond with one such poor soul, who begins the series so far beneath a Clan Leader that the friendship should not really have happened.

His innate gentle and kind nature, however, is almost his downfall. He wants so badly to believe that everyone he loves is good, it nearly breaks him when he discovers this isn't the case. Poor, poor Lan Xichen.

What I love best about this gentle being, though, is how thoroughly he knows his younger brother, and how deeply he cares for his happiness. He recognises right away that Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are meant for one another, and it shows in the various smirks Lan Xichen gives throughout the series. He does a lot to try and bring Wei Ying and Lan Zhan together, even after Wei Ying is cast out and made public enemy number one. He understands before even Lan Zhan.

His commitment to the truth is also to be admired, since it may cost him a dear friendship.

Mostly I love Lan Xichen for the quiet encouragement and support he offers his younger brother. The dude, as I said, is absolutely wonderful.

An aside: he'd make great company. I imagine he wouldn't talk much, and we could just cuddle on the couch reading together. Sounds... heavenly.

Good morning, Readers!

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay ​

So while I was searching for images for a blog post I have scheduled Tuesday night, I came across a video on the subject - a fan edit, which had a brilliant song as its soundtrack. As with all things musical that catches my ear, I played that song on repeat all night while I was writing said blog post.

Unable to get it out of my system, I bought it Wednesday morning and listened to it all day.

It's a fantastic song.

As I don't have anything else meaningful to blog about, I thought I'd share the music.

It's good, right?!

So good.

On that note, have yourselves a lovely weekend, and I'll see you Monday.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

I'm over at Black Gate today, giving some advice that might seem... counter to what folks normally say, particularly when talking about emotions that are often maligned.

I have a hot take:

Spite is as good a reason for creating as any.

Wait. Hear me out. Let me explain.

This past week, I was hit with two important rejections. They hit harder than rejections normally do. I've been at the writing game a long, long time. I'm used to rejections. Sure, I really wanted to succeed this time, but I always really want to succeed. Normally rejections just make me sad for a little bit. I drink a bit of whiskey - alright, a little bit more than a bit of whiskey - and I pick myself up and try again. This time... this time I went through the whole gamut of stages of grief. Except for denial. I've had too many rejections for denial to ever come up. It's totally believable that it would happen.
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Also, bargaining didn't happen. What was I going to do? Whinge at them until their minds changed? Psht.

Good morning, Readers!

Image by pieonane from Pixabay ​

Well, we finally had some snow. It was really nice to wake up to a white world. The snow was wet and heavy, and I don't envy anyone who had to shovel it. Walking was slippery, but it still put me in a good mood; even if the train to work moved a little slower than usual. The cold is fine, but the cold without the snow can get dreary. Snow makes everything magical. I'll never tire of it.

I had a lovely weekend, more or less. There was one last visit to the old house to do some cleaning. That set off my asthma in a major way, and I went to bed with lungs that whistled like I'd swallowed a squeaky dog toy every time I breathed. That was fun. Galahad was weirded out, and so I didn't get many cuddles last night.

Speaking of Galahad, he's lying behind my computer as I type this, sleeping. I love that he's near me when I'm home. It makes me happy to have him close. I hate being away from home. What I need is a work cat.

Sunday was spent doing chores and then I had a lovely couple of games of Exploding Kittens and learnt how to play Cribbage. Thanks to T, who took some time out of her afternoon to come over for a masked I'm threatening to start a Canasta evening. I loved playing Canasta back in the day, and having a monthly gathering to shoot the breeze and play cards with folks I like to spend time with seems like fun to me.

Life is still chugging along. The routine has been good for me, and so I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of my iPad. In the meantime, I'm taking advantage of the non-writing to daydream. It's the best way to solidify stories, for me personally, and there's been a lot of time for that during my commute to and from work, and in the evenings when I'm not meal-prepping or preparing a blog post for the following day.

Update: Galahad is gently snoring, and I can't stop giggling.

That's where I am right now. I'm still not loving the long hours at work, but I'm happy to be working - a regular paycheque and the routine have done wonders for my mental health. Soon enough I'll also be writing, and that makes me extremely happy. When I can finally figure out a way to add lifting, running and martial arts back into the mix, I'll be golden. I think, if the plague is finally beaten back, I'll be able to add martial arts back before anything else. Lifting and running will have to take a back seat as I try to juggle everything else. I'm hoping I'll be able to squeeze them in as well, but I'm not seeing a way how, as of yet.

But that's a problem for future me. Current me just needs to worry about getting writing again and saving up for a new Mac, because hoy boy is this one crumbling. Oh! And getting my learner's license. I really should get on that.

Right, that's all the catch-up news from the weekend I have. I have another blog post to write and schedule, and then I think I'll retire to bed with a cup of tea for some pre-sleep kitten cuddles.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

This next character is one of my favourites, perhaps because I relate to him so damned hard. Lords, ladies and fools, I introduce Lan Zhan.

Every trickster needs a straight man foil, and that is exactly what Lan Zhan (also called Lan Wangji, Master Lan, or by his title Hanguan Jun (Light-Bearing Lord)), played by Wang Yibo, is. The other half of the pair of heroes around which the story revolves, Lan Zhan is the one of the pair who ultimately changes his alignment. It's a tiny adjustment, but it's there (Wei Ying remains forever Chaotic Good).

You see, when we meet Lan Zhan - powerful cultivator, expert swordsman, and smart enough to be Wei Ying's rival - his alignment is undoubtedly Lawful Neutral. He'll obey the rules no matter what. But underneath that stone cold, tightly repressed exterior, is a Lawful Good, begging for release.

As with most love stories (and this is most definitely a love story), when the two heroes - Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji - meet, they don't get along at all. They're water and oil. Fire and ice. Republicans and democracy. They cross swords on their first meeting, and it doesn't go much smoother for many moons following. But near the end of Wei Ying's first life, it is plain that Lan Zhan respects and even loves the young troublemaker. 

And yet, through his association with Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji slowly starts to thaw. He realises, I suppose, the profound heroism in his opponent and comes to admire, respect and love him so very much that he starts to bend the rules.

Namely, the Lan Clan rule against associating with evil.

But you see, Lan Zhan doesn't believe Wei Ying is evil at all. So though the world tells him he is, he isn't actually breaking the rules. He accepts punishment as if he is, though, because it must feel like he's the only one in the world who knows his soulmate is not evil, and there's really no point in arguing the matter.

One of the things I love most about Lan Zhan is his constant faithfulness to his soulmate; and the secret soft side he shows only to him. He defends Wei Ying when the latter is unfairly maligned. Even when he believes Wei Ying to be dead, he steps in to defend Wei Ying's honour. He doesn't care how it tarnishes his reputation. And yet, when the world was praising Wei Ying, it was Lan Zhan who offered gentle admonishment - proving he was concerned for his love, and not just another sycophant.

But, Lan Zhan does have a weakness.

Dude is a total lightweight. The cheapest of dates. The most hilarious example of a man who cannot hold his liquor.

I love Lan Zhan's stoney face, and his cold demeanour, and I adore watching it slowly ebb away, to be replaced by a genuine, deep love. I also love the dichotomy of an expert warrior being impossibly gentle with the one he loves. It's just... it's really good.

Lan Zhan is my favourite character, I think. His brother, though, is a very close second. More on that next week.

Good morning, Readers!

So, my iPad keyboard has arrived. Two days ahead of schedule. I'm now getting quite excited for the arrival of the iPad. I'm eager to get writing again. With the fierce return of my daydreams, I'm feeling in a slightly better mood - much less fatalistic about my writing career.

Though, I am painfully aware that I may never make it.

That was always a risk.

Still, there's something to look forward to, and that's really important.

There's also a lot that I'm falling behind on. I really need to get started on November's painting project. Time is quickly slipping away from me there. But I feel like I just don't have the time to do anything of late, and I'm finding that very frustrating. I miss being able to be creative. All the creativity is being pent up, and turning me sour. I am much happier when I'm creating.

Hopefully, I'll have some time this weekend, and I'll be able to at least get the colour blocked in.  We'll see.  I'm daydreaming about December's piece already, and that will take quite a bit of time, so I really need to finish November's painting. Argh!

Anyway, it's Thursday (actually, Wednesday night at the time of writing this), which means tomorrow is Friday, which means I'll be live streaming, and that is always a good time. I always feel better after stabbing fools in the head with the point of Leonidas' spear...

Also, I need to get in the habit of yeeting folks from cliffs. I promised I would.

That's all I've got right now. Still itching to write, still struggling to find the time and means, still itching to paint, still struggling to find the time and means...  Le sigh.

Right, I have to go.

​Ciao!