Good morning, Readers!

Image by Annalise Batista from Pixabay ​

The anxiety of joblessness is hanging over my head constantly.

My writing is not going anywhere, really. It's not doing even enough to earn the minimum threshold for a royalty payment. I'm beginning to doubt that it ever will. That makes me sad, because I stated out with such hopes. Of course I'll still write. I can't not. But I'm no longer hopeful that I'll ever be able to make any kind of living from it. A shame.

I've finished my acrylic painting of a dragon, and my mind has turned to the next painting project - the one that will conclude my oil painting lessons from Shillshare.

These thoughts are not unrelated.

This pandemic has left me with far too much time to think. Far too much time to reconsider.

I would go back to my old job in a heartbeat. It didn't pay well, but it gave me my weekends, my evenings, holidays. Stability. And, should my old job be no longer available, as so many jobs have become, I will be one of thousands of folks searching for a very limited number of available places in the workforce.

CERB has been extremely helpful, but it won't last forever. Canada seems entirely unwilling to consider Universal Basic Income at all, despite, well, *gestures vaguely at everything.*

To be perfectly honest, while I hate the anxiety of my current employment situation, and would happily return to my previous job, I've really rather enjoyed the time I've been granted to pursue my other passions.

I've spent a great deal of time thinking about whether this was something I could make permanent. If I could find a way to change my life, make it so I could do this all the time.

I always joke that I'll need to win the lottery. But that's never going to happen. Besides, plenty of people have made the artistic life work for them. Perhaps I can, too?

Then again, it's a very circular problem. I need money in order to buy the supplies I need to make these projects happen. In order to get that money, I need to sell some pieces. If I can't sell (which, given my spectacular marketing of my books (sarcasm, yo) is a distinct probability), then I can't buy what I need to make the next thing.

Still, I'm getting itchy. Restless. I know this means I need to change something.

But then I stand up and look down and freeze. It seems an impossible task. The chances of success are slim (see also: my books), and odds of failure astronomically high. There is no parachute. No net. This kind of change terrifies me for these reasons.

I wonder how folks take this plunge. I admire them so much for their courage and their conviction, both of which I lack. I don't know how they do it. I don't know how I could.

Still, I'm thinking about it. I'm making a list of things I need to do the crafts and art I want to (like all the leather carving tools, dyes, a carving mat, wood carving tools, canvasses, all the paint, etc). I'm thinking about whether trying is even worth it. I'm thinking about what I will have to do when my support systems expire.

Maybe my next big project isn't the oil painting I'll be doing for the end of this month. Maybe It's a complete overhaul of my life.

That's terrifying.

Anyway, I need to think some more. But first I have manuscripts that require editing.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

​I'm over at Black Gate magazine today, starting a fight, apparently.

Surely it cannot be controversial to say that the idea of inherent evil is just terribly lazy writing, right? The broad strokes and decidedly absent nuance that the idea of inherent evil necessitates is just that – broad and without nuance. No one has to think too hard about it. Why did that person do that? Well, because they’re evil. That’s all the explanation and motivation required for a character. Why did the orc attack the elf? Well, because orcs are evil. That’s just what they are, and it’s behind everything they do.

Yawn.

It’s dull, overplayed, and it’s terribly lazy.

The idea of an entire people/culture/race being inherently evil is equally as lazy. Why did that character do something? Well, because they’re part of a race that is everything despicable. No other reason or motivation required. [Insert race] is just evil. End of. You can also see that this kind of narrative construction is exceptionally racist, too, right? World and cultures written in SFF might truly be made-up, but they do reflect real world ideas and modes of thinking. And the idea that an entire race is evil by virtue of their race is, well, racist.

And lazy.
​
And, happily, changing.

Good morning, Readers!

So, I did it. I finally finished the painting I started last year. The one I turned around to face the wall for months because I hated it. That one.

I spent the entirety of yesterday finishing it off. And you know, I don't hate it. I'm not in love with it, but I don't hate it. For the first traditional painting I've done in many years, it's not terrible. It's took me more than a month to finish. Mind you, I was working on it only roughly an hour a day.

Anyway, below is the progression of the painting (starting from after I covered up the clouds that I despised so much).

Fixed the clouds. Debated whether or not to add the highlights, as I really liked the look of these clouds.

Added the highlights. Don't like it as much, but decided to go with it regardless.

Figured out the location and shape of the mountain range and blocked in the base colour. In the concept sketch I filled the valley with a pine forest. But I was far too lazy to paint that, so I made it foggy instead. Because I'm lazy.

Painted in the now-capped mountains and attempted to create a line of light from a weak setting sun. It didn't quite work, but still looked alright. So I left it.

Foreground done. I started off painting everything brown and farting around with paint. It looked like a amorphous blob, so I quit for the day and then, thinking about it all night, decided to do a shale cliff instead. It looked alright.

And then it was the end of the month, and the painting needed to get finished, so I spent literally all of yesterday until roughly 7:00pm painting (while also watching ​Avatar: The Last Airbender) to get it finished. And so here we are. The final form:

This one is a donation (more details to follow when they are revealed). I need to get it photographed properly so I can at least offer prints to sell. It's hard to shoot a fairly large acrylic on canvas in any kind of decent manner. Hopefully, I'll still have the canvas when I have the means to photograph it properly.

​Anyway, it's done. It only took a pandemic for me to get it done.

Right, so I completed my painting on time. But I've got other things that need completing before I can celebrate my accomplishments. So I'm off to go do those things.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Image by DarkWorkX from Pixabay ​

Everything I'm doing is taking way more time than I thought it would. My painting, which I hoped to have done y tomorrow is not going to be done by tomorrow.I have so many details to add; scales, trees and grass, shadows and highlights. This after I fixed a couple of mistakes the need fixing. I was hoping to have a picture of it to show you today, but alas, not for a little bit yet. Soon, I hope.

I also hoped to have the manuscript I'm editing done by tomorrow. There is no way. It's not that I haven't been plugging away at it. I have. It's just taking far longer than I thought it was going to. I'm annoyed at myself for not having it done, but I don't want to rush it, either, as that would be doing the manuscript a disservice.

So, I'm starting the week a little stressed. Things I have due are not done, and I'm annoyed at myself for it.

Still dreaming, of course, of somehow finding both financial stability and enough free time to do all the things I want to do.

Not that having free time seems to have helped me stay on schedule.

*grumble*

Still, I'm pretty lucky that I get to do this for now. Even if I'm terribly behind schedule, and really annoyed with myself for it.

Right, I have a lot to be getting done today, so I'm off to go do them.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

There really isn't that much going on with me currently. I'm still doing the work I've agreed to do for folks, learning my French lessons, painting, writing.

I'm also exercising daily. I've been playing Beat Sabre with wrist weights on. the weights aren't huge. Just 2.5lbs. I was hoping to find some 5lb wrist weighs, but couldn't. I guess five pounds is just too much for most folks. Not a lot of demand, I guess.

I'm not particularly good at the game. It's taken me some practice on several songs to graduate from normal to hard. I'm not one of those folks who can hit expert level on the first try and only miss a couple of targets. Hell, I failed a few of them while playing on normal. Still, it's a way to practice my hand-eye coordination, listen to some pretty good music (much of it is not good, though. EDM style stuff isn't my bag, but you can buy songs from Green Day, Imagine Dragons and a few others. I bought the Imagine Dragons pack, and loving it. Come at me. Their music is great. Begging for a Disturbed music pack, though (please PS4)).

Anyway, as far as exercise routines go, it's pretty good. It's a continual mental as well as physical challenge, which is necessary for me.

But this is my life currently. It's not bad, obviously. it's just really not especially thrilling. So, naturally I don't have much to relay to you today. Maybe I'll have something exciting for next week. For this week, though, I've got nothing.

Right, I'm off to try and get things done.

Or maybe not. I've been pretty exhausted from the heat these last week, and I slept in something terrible this morning. I've got to at least try to get things done today.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Today's high is supposed to be 22. 22, after a week of 30 or higher, way higher with the humidex, is just going to be heavenly! I can finally turn off the air-conditioner I have in my bedroom, and sleep with some fresh air coming in. The low, you see, will be 13. Just lovely.

The heat and humidity is awful here in the city, and while I appreciate the longer days, and the fun warmth would normally bring, you know, if we were in the plague times, it's just too, too much for my blood.

I was made for colder climes.

I'm too insulated against the cold to be any good in the heat.

I'm a sook.

Anyway, sufficed to say that I'm really, really looking forward to a cooler day. Hyped, even.

The heat makes it incredibly difficult for me to concentrate, so I haven't really been getting much writing done - a smattering here and there. I have been keeping up with my editing, though, since I have someone waiting on me to finish it. And I have been doing my French lessons.

And I've been painting.

I'm almost done the piece I started last year and wanted done before the end of the year. The same piece that I put in the corner of a room facing the wall because my first attempt at clouds looked entirely terrible. I like the sky much better now. i don't think it's great, mind, but I like it better now. I like the mountain much more, and the foreground cliffs look pretty decent too. I have just the subject of the painting left to complete, then I add in the details and the painting will be done. I had given myself until the end of the month to complete it. I might be finished a couple of days early.

Then I shall move back over to my oil painting lessons and finish my first oil painting ever next month. I hope.

I wrote before about how happy I am to return to painting, and I want to reiterate it here. I really am so glad that I returned to painting in general and that piece in particular. Ir's not a spectacular piece, but it's good enough for my skill level that I'm not ashamed of it.

I'll post pictures when I've finished it. Promise.

Right, I have writing and editing and painting and French lessons to be getting on with. Probably some Beat Sabre too so I can pretend I've exercised.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

So, I really don't have all that much to say today. Instead, I thought I'd share with you a project I'm working on and see of anyone is interested in participating.

Basically, I'm uploading videos of authors reading the first chapters of their books, with a link to buy in the description for the authors to use for promos or whatever they like. It's a small, simple way from me to be able to give something to the writing community.

Basically, writers send in a video or audio file of them reading the first chapter and I put it together and upload it. Super simple. Here's the most recent one so you can see what it is:

A video is unnecessary. Most everyone thus far has sent in an audio file. Anyway, if this seems like something you'd like to participate in, feel free to email me.

If you want to save time, send along the audio/video file, an image of the book's cover, and your preferred purchase link.

I'll be happy to put it out for you.

Videos are out usually every Monday, and I'll email you once it's live.

Right, I have a lot to be doing today. I shall see you all tomorrow.

Ciao!