Good afternoon, Reades!

Well, we are fast approaching the response deadline for my submission of Soldier, the first book in The Great Man series. I am anxiously checking the email I reserve for my writing stuff daily, hoping against hope that this book is good enough for the publisher to take a risk on me and this story.

It's a series - six books, in fact, which I know is an incredibly hard sell. Stand-alones are easier for publishers to rake a risk on, for obvious reasons. And I'm a huge unknown, who has already published a fair number of titles, none of which sell in any meaningful way.

It's an uphill battle, is what I'm saying. The chances of this query being successful are extraordinarily slim.

Still, I'm hoping, even as I'm trying to prepare myself for yet one more rejection that this poor book has gotten. This one, when it lands, will be especially disappointing. I can't help but hope, and having that hope dashed never gets easier.

I love this story so much. I love the characters. I really want to see it succeed.

Like The Lioness of Shara Mountain, I'm unsure what to do with it. If this query doesn't land, and the book is once again rejected, what then? What will I do with it?

I don't know. Part of me just wants to file the story away. A failure. It couldn't cut it.

Another part of me is still aching to share the story.

Yet another part is already gathering a considerable amount of "fuck you" energy (you know the kind. It rears up with obstinant defiance when anyone says 'you can't do that.' It isn't exactly fair that I have that going on, as the query has yet to be rejected... and there's a chance it will not be... however slim).

Once again, I find myself contemplating a number of options. I could submit the book to Renaissance Press, whom I really love working with, but have not really been selling through at all. I love them, so chances are, I'll definitely try them first. I was hoping for more of a global reach, but Renaissance has a lot going for it for such a small press.

I could self-publish it, but there's so much expense and time involved in that option. I don't have funds, and I don't have an awful lot of time. At all. I'm already working three jobs in an effort to keep myself housed and fed. I don't have what it takes to give this book's development and marketing the time and energy it so richly (in my opinion) deserves. Self-publishing is as much a recipe for failure as just filing it away, in my experience.

Perhaps I could go the web novel route, as I'm contemplating with The Lioness of Shara Mountain. Perhaps I'll launch The Lioness that way as a kind of test to see if it will be a viable thing for Soldier and the subsequent books in the series. That option is still more expensive, as I still need to get book covers and editing all sorted.

So, I'm currently spending my time wishing for a publishing contract, and trying to figure out a Plan B for one of my favourite stories I've ever written. It's taking a considerable amount of brainpower.

Any advice you can offer will be welcomed, and even considered.

In any case, I'll find out soon enough. If I'm lucky, I'll have hit on a viable Plan B by the time I hear. All the same, give the manuscript your best wishes.

I'm still hoping Plan A pans out.

Ciao!

Good afternoon, Readers!

So there are a lot of things I have thoughts on, guys! SO MANY.

I'm going to start with my return to martial arts. I love it. I've missed it. I'm so happy to be training and teaching again. I honestly wish I could do it more, but there just aren't enough hours in the day. Perhaps one day (soon, I hope), I'll be able to reduce me hours in the 8-5 and start doing the things I really love more. I wish all offices everywhere turn to a results-based wage instead of a time-based wage. One day, perhaps, we'll get there.

This week, I watched the first episode of HBO's The Last of Us and I have thoughts. I'm going to save that for another blog, though, if they'll have me back. Near as I can tell from the first episode, though, this is one video game adaptation that was done exceedingly well. While I do have some grumbles, particularly as they relate to Joel's character, but overall, it was so very good. Pedro Pascal was not my first choice (though I was not as hesitant about him as I was when I first heard the casting for Geralt in The Witcher), he is a brilliant actor and he does very well in the role. Bella Ramsay as Ellie was exceptional. She portrayed the cursing young teen perfectly. So perfectly, in fact, that I had a good belly laugh when we first meet her. I will be eagerly continuing the watch.

But, like I said, I'd like to expound on that further elsewhere.

If you're wondering about my writing, The Lioness of Shara Mountain is now off and away to beta reader 3. There will be one more edit and then I will be publishing it. Right now, my mind is on what kind of book cover I would like for this one. I have a couple of ideas. Since I am leaning towards publishing this as a web novel on an online platform, I will have to come up with the cover myself. I'm thinking that maybe I'll do a painting on canvas and use that, but first I have to do a couple of mock-ups to see which design I'll be actually painting. I'm not sure yet. I've got a little time, so we'll see.

I've not quite decided how I'll have this published, yet, so it might be I try the traditional route. That's looking less and less likely, though.

With TLoSM all written and off, there are a number of other projects that I have on the go or waiting for a start that I should get to. I'm not sure which of these I want to resume/start. There are just so many. I'm thinking I should start the third and final book of The Avalon Series... which still doesn't have a proper name. Once the series is done and written, I can start shopping it. I don't really want to do that until it's all complete. You know, just in case. I'd hate to have the first two books published and then something happen and readers never get to read the end of the story. Once that's complete I have a new story begging for attention, but I think I'll return to rewriting The Great Man series. I've done the first three books, as I recall. It's the last three that need rewrites. Cai has been whispering to me again, and so I think I ought to finish rewriting his story. I should get it all done, as the first book, Soldier, is on submission right now. If a miracle happens and it's accepted, I would like to have the series done as much as possible before the first edits roll in.

For now, though, as is tradition when I've finished a story, I'm giving myself the rest of the month off... or as much of the month as it takes for my third beta reader to get back to me.

Oh, and Sunday we streamed the first episode of Nights at the Round Table. It was fun, though it started with a whole bunch of technical issues I needed to iron out. We got there in the end. I am wildly out of hosting practice, so it was a little awkward on my end, but it'll get better as we go along. As long as I can continue to get panellists! I've missed chatting nerdy books with friends! The episode will go up on our YouTube channel Sunday the 29th. I'm kinda nervous about this.

And that's where I'm at this week. Tonight I'm going home to continue working on my crafting stuff, and I think I'll rewatch the first episode of TLoU.

​Ciao!

Good afternoon, Readers!

No word of a lie, I wrote an entire blog post, only to have it be deleted when the internet decided to log me out randomly. Let me try and recreate it as faithfully as possible.

Right...

I have finally finished one of the six secret project things I am making... that were supposed to be Xmas gifts. I finished it up last night while watching episodes of Firefly (I was feeling very nostalgic). I even managed to get the second one all sewn and even get its first glue down. Tonight I have more sewing and gluing to do, and then I'm done the second one. After that, I'll only have four left to do. *sobs*

At this rate, everyone will have their gifts in February.

I clearly bit off more than I could chew.

Things are starting to get going again for me, so my busy-ness is only going to increase. Starting this weekend, I'm back to teaching the women's only martial arts classes at Carleton U. I cannot recommend these classes enough; not just because I teach them (though I really love teaching them and I think I'm pretty decent at creating a fun place to learn and train), but because martial arts have helped me with so much, and I want to share that magic with the world.

I teach both kickboxing and kung fu. Looking at my classes, I see that my kickboxing class is full, so I would encourage anyone wanting to dip their toes in come join the women's only kung fu class. We get to learn all the fun stuff like striking, but also the cool stuff like forms... and weapons. Classes are open to women 15 years and older, and you don't have to be a Carleton U student to sign up.

Here's the class description and registration, if you're curious.

Also happening this weekend - Nights at the Round Table! Our paired-down, once a month book club streams live this Sunday on Twitch. Join us for a nerdy chat about books and stuff! The stream starts at 11:00, and we'll start the book chat around 11:30 or so. Don't worry if you can't make it. The panel will be uploaded to our YouTube channel on the 29th so you can nerd out at your leisure.

On the writing front, I am still editing The Lioness of Shara Mountain. I'm going slowly, trying to be extra thorough before I send it off to my last beta reader and strongest critic, my dad. After that, it'll be one more edit and then I start the publication journey. Hopefully.

Though I've decided to publish the book, I still haven't really decided how to publish the book. Every time I think I've decided, there's a horrid little voice in my head that keeps casting doubts, throwing up options that I then am forced to research, and otherwise making things difficult. I'll figure it out. Hopefully by the time the last of the edits are done. I have to say, beta reader two's comments certainly have boosted my confidence when it comes to this one.

I'm just worried that if I make the wrong decision here, I will languish forever in obscurity. I so desperately want to make writing a full time job. I wish I knew how. I'm just not savvy enough.

*dramatic sigh*

Alright, I have to go. I have so much to do it's not even funny.

Ciao!

Good afternoon, Readers!

How is everyone? I hope you're all surviving the post-holiday slump.

I am. Largely because I am excited about things starting again.

Martial arts training begins anew tomorrow, and I'm so happy to be getting back at it. With the whirlwind that was family visiting from overseas over the Christmas break, along with too many sweets, has made me feel rather like a sentient blob. I'm anxious to be getting back into martial arts training again. I've also used the week martial arts training begins again as the arbitrary beginning of my renewed attempts at improving myself.

This afternoon, I'll be back at attempting to give myself the strength to do a pull-up and chin-up. I'm hoping for the ability to do ten of each by the end of the year. To that purpose, I've finally splurged and bought myself some resistance bands. That way I'll be able to give my muscles the full motion (even if assisted), which I could not achieve before now. I was relying on dead hangs, shoulder/lat shrugs and negatives... none of which I was particularly good at.

I am determined. I even have a book in which I can record all of my workouts and exercises as I go, so I can track my progress and see if there is any improvement. It's so hard to judge improvement in strength if it's not tracked. Part of why I keep giving up is I feel like there is no improvement.

I'm doing the same for all of my stretching, because I really want to be able to touch my toes and do the splits by the end of the year as well, but I'm focusing on the pull-ups for now.

I've also started guitar again. So far I've relearnt Happy Birthday, acquired some finger exercises and started to develop the calluses again. I haven't practiced as much as I've wanted this past week, but I have plan to get into it now.

Streaming has once again started. I played the first three-ish hours of God of War: Ragnarok on Friday, and it was so much fun. It feel so lovely to connect with the characters again. The team behind this new God of War series have really done a fabulous job in creating depth of character that makes this game (and the one before it) and absolute joy to play. Also, I cried in the first 20-odd minutes. There is a sad death that made me well up. Hush. It was very sad.

Best of all, however, I've reentered the world of writing. I have been spending my lunch hours editing The Lioness of Shara Mountain. Rereading it now, I am really enjoying the characters and world (if I do say so myself), and I'm leaning heavily towards getting it published. I'm still undecided as to by what means, but I do want to see this one in print. There aren't an awful lot of stories about powerful, devoted platonic love. Maybe it'll find an audience on that alone. Once I'm done this round of edits, it'll be sent off to the last beta reader, one more round of edits, and then I have some serious decisions to make.

I'll keep you posted on that.

Speaking of editing, I should go do that. I'm off. Have yourselves a lovely week.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

No, the title was not a typo.

Do you remember, way back in the before times, a wee little YouTube show I ran for a while? Well... I'm bringing it back. That's right, Nights at the Round Table is back.

Those who receive my newsletter already know the gossip, but here's the brief:

I'm exhausted as it is and terribly worried about burning out, so instead of one show a week as it was in the before times, I'm cutting it right back to one episode a month. That means we'll be focussing on the aspect of the show that I am most in love with - books.

For now.

If there is ever a universe in which this takes off, and I can somehow afford to cut back on the 9 - 5 job and pay my guests, I may increase the number of episodes. For now, though, as I will be the one who is organising, editing both the video version and the podcast audio (yes, I'm releasing it as a podcast as well), and trying to stay on top of the social media (which anyone knows is not my strength), I can currently only manage one episode a month.

I'm actually really, really excited to be starting this again, and though it's a lot of work on top of my writing, art, teaching, and regular 9 - 5, I can't wait to get started.

We're streaming the episodes live on Twitch and then a week later uploading them to YouTube where they'll live forever... or for as long as YouTube lasts anyway. There is also a book club for those of you who want a dedicated space to continue the discussion. It's 100% free, and is basically what I wish Goodreads was. Join us for more bookishness! If you'd like to read along with me, join me on Story Graph. We can do this thing called a buddy read, where I can upload my notes/thoughts on the book as I'm reading it, and they will remain hidden from you until you reach that point in the book, so there will be no spoilers. It's a really cool feature and I'm looking forward to interacting with folks there. Click any of the links to sign up/follow/subscribe if it interests you. No obligation, of course!

So, the first episode of the rebooted show will be happening live on Twitch on January 22 beginning at 11:00am. If you don't feel like joining us live, subscribe to the YouTube channel if you like? The first episode will be up on the 29th of January at 9:00am. It's my hope that I'll get the episodes up on the last Sunday of every month.

As to what the first episode is, well, we'll be discussing the book Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree.

I've seen this book a lot on BookTok, and while low stakes stuff isn't my cup of tea usually, I am looking forward to getting stuck into this one. You'll have to watch the show to figure out what I thought of it.

Alright, it's quite late at night at the time of writing this, so I have to sign off now and go to bed. Until next week!

Ciao!

PS - I'm streaming games again (I had stopped for a little bit) and will be kicking off 2023 with one of my most anticipated games, God of War: Ragnarok. Friday evenings at 7:00pm. See you there!

Good morning, Readers!

I hope your holidays are filled with love and light... and ongoing!

This is written in advance, but you'll forgive me. I have family visiting from Australia, and I'm spending my time with them.

In any case, the no good very bad year is now behind us, and I want to start looking forward to 2023 to see what I can do to continue to make my life the best life for me. As usual, I've broken up the things I want to achieve into different categories. In each category there is a wish (or two), as these are things that are out of my control entirely; I can do only what I can do and fate takes the rest. Let's crack on shall we?

So... a lot to be getting on with.

In all honesty, I don't think I'll manage to get them all done in 2023, but these are goals, not resolutions. I won't beat myself up if I don't hit them all. I'm being very ambitious with this list. The trick is to do small things. It is the small things that combine to make a big thing. That's how things are achieved.

​What about you. What do you hope to achieve in 2023?

Good morning, Readers!

I know! A post in the morning! Things are insane over here!

Looking back on 2022 is like trying to peer through fog... Unsurprisingly, given the effects on trauma on short term memory (hint: it interrupts the development of memories). 2022 was not a good year for me. There were some bright spots, but overall, it was a not good very bad year (TM). However, I will say that the challenges that slammed into me turned out, largely, to create a better situation (once they'd passed), even if they wrecked my ability to create and caused me so much stress, and felt pretty terrible at the time.

There were many blessings this year that I am profoundly grateful for.

For starters, my friends, who will be called T2, who lived in the same building as I did in the first half of the year were a bloody godsend. Their company and gentle reassurance, and their listening skills were wonderful. When I first moved into the previous apartment, they made sure I was fed when I was too depressed to feed myself. Their companionship was a boon and I am so, so grateful for them. Thank you so much for all you did while I shared your building.

The forced eviction, while it seemed at the time was just another curse of 2022, was also a blessing. Despite the stress of trying to find a place, and all the nonsense (last minute cancellation of movers etc) that followed, I moved into my current apartment. While it's not perfect, my current place is fantastic. For the same price as much, much, much smaller studio apartments, I have a two bedroom flat which gives me both a bedroom and a studio/office. I've made full use of that room (though not as much as I would like, given my time constraints).  Best of all, I live there alone with my cat, and that is such a necessary, perfect arrangement for me. Despite having to work the whole time, thus slowing down my healing time, coming home to space that is mine where I don't feel caged and constantly on the verge of a panic attack is wonderful. I got the space I needed to recover not just from the first half of 2022, but the later part of 2021, which I still hadn't managed to do because of the above.

It's a bit of a mess at the moment, but it's still a slice of heaven, and I'm so, so grateful for it.

As an aside, I'd like to thank Jim for his very kind offer of a place to live when it looked like I was going to be homeless for a while. It was incredibly kind, and it really did help to know that I wouldn't have to give up my cat in order to find a place. While I ultimately chose to spend more money on a monthly basis for a much-needed place of my own, that offer made everything so much easier for me. It's not really possible to explain how wonderful that was. Thank you.

I also managed to finish a manuscript. The Lioness of Shara Mountain was the first full novel I wrote in a long time. And it's not a terrible story. I am a bit biased, but still... It's decent. I'm looking forward to releasing it in 2023.

I created more art than ever before in 2022. Not since my art class in high school was I this productive with art. I learnt new skills; including watercolour, which I'm enjoying. Going from not being able to create at all to all the paintings I've done - whether or not they're any good - is amazing. I'm incredible grateful for it.

Similarly, I gave Soldier another chance. It has been sent away to a publisher I really like, which was open to unagented manuscripts for the first time in something like five years. The email that confirmed receipt of the manuscript listed the pronouns of the sender, and I found that extremely gratifying. I'm not trans, but I have trans friends I care a great deal about, and the inclusion of pronouns lets me know that these folks are at least mindful of inclusion. I found myself wishing harder that they become my publisher, because the kind of people who are mindful of inclusivity are the kind of people I want to work with.

I also rejoined my martial arts school. Reconnecting with those fine folks and getting my body moving in fun ways again was a balm for my soul.

And lastly, I was able to attend the wedding of The Amazing Flatmate. It was beautiful and fun, though exhausting. Socialising is always exhausting for me, and I was wildly out of practice. It was great to be there though. She looked stunning and so happy, and it was quite touching. My heart was very full.

The last blessing was you. All of you. You stuck with me when I was an absolute mess of a person. You supported me and kept me sane.  Your kindness is an incredible blessing.

I'm still recovering a bit. I still get bouts of productivity-killing fatigue; days when I need to spend the whole time asleep. But I'm no long struggling as much as I was, and I'm actually excited for 2023. It's been a long time since the future felt exciting, that it was something I wanted to be there for.

There's a lot I want to get done, and next week, I'll be picking up the objectives list I used to do for the new year.

Thank you, everyone, for being with me when I wasn't very nice to be around. You're all lovely.

Have yourselves a brilliant holidays. I'll see you in a week.

​Ciao!