Good morning, Readers!

So, this is the post that I would have put up yesterday, if I had posted Wednesday.  Instead, I'm playing catch-up.  So, this is my would-be Valentine's Day post.

I hate Valentine's Day.

Those who have followed me for a while will know this about me.  I hate it.  Always have.

I've matured a little bit.  I mean, sort of.  I'm older anyway.  I no longer resent those who revel in today, even though I do think it's the stupidest day of the year.  I still hate today.

After much unpacking, I know that my hatred of this day began when I was a young tween.  This was before I realised that I was demisexual, that asexuality was even a thing and that I was on that spectrum.  I hated Valentine's Day, because it called out the fact that I didn't have anyone, and didn't particularly want anyone, and that I was the only one in the whole world like me.  Single people were generally pitied or looked down on on Valentine's Day.  It made me seem even more of a freak that I felt, and despite not wanting anyone, it also made me feel so utterly lonely.  I hated it all, and despised the 'sheeple' who 'mindlessly' celebrated it.

It also, I felt, invalidated the love I did feel.

The focus on romantic love pissed me off.  It still does.  It glorifies one type of love only, and recognition for and the importance of other kinds of love were downplayed and cast aside.  This seems to me have had a knock-on effect.  Love other than the romantic variety is largely devalued in society in general, not just on Valentine's Day, and powerful loving bonds are ignored or questioned if you aren't also boinking the person with whom you have such a bond.

That's some serious horse shit, right there.

You don't have to be screwing someone to experience a fierce love for them.  I love my friends.  I would go to war for my friends.  I have in the past bared my fangs on behalf of friends, and will do so again.  And that love is all the more true because I'm not concerned that their returning love is dependent upon a hope to one day get me in the sack (most of my male friends are very much taken).  I don't have to fear abandonment from friends because of a lack of sex, because this love is not dependent on it.  These bonds are true and strong and without strings attached.

The pain from the breaking of these bonds is also very real.  It's still heartbreak, and it's some of the worst pain I've ever felt.  Just because I wasn't bumping uglies (how many euphemisms for sex do you think I can come up with?) with them doesn't mean that when that friendship dissolved in flames and fury that I wasn't absolutely distraught (it was abusive, and it's a good thing we're no longer friends, but at the time it was the ending of my world).

Every Valentine's Day, I'm reminded how little society values love that doesn't involve sex (I've run out of euphemisms after all), and how many people cannot seem to grasp how deep and true that love truly is.

My hatred of Valentine's Day remains, and likely will never be remedied.  While I think lovers should celebrate their love, I also think that we as a society need to recognise and celebrate those other kinds of love; the kinds that won't result in marriage and children, and we all need to learn to value them far more than we do.

So, enjoy your Valentine's or whatever.  I'll be over here, happily single and very much loved.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Firstly, let me apologise for not posting yesterday.  There was a snow storm, and I was home, and not feeling great.  So I didn't go anywhere near a computer.  I did however, manage to practice my guitar, and by the evening I was feeling better and well enough to stream... again.  I've done a lot of streaming this week.

To make up for it, I'll probably post something on Friday.  Maybe.  Right, on with the series about writer's groups.

Oh, Happy Valentine's or some rubbish (I'm not a fan of the day, to be honest).

If you're part of a writer's group, you have a responsibility to show up, even if it's not to your direct benefit.  Now, sometimes there are times you just can't.  You're unwell, out of spoons, have tickets to Hamilton.  We get it.  There are times when you're just not able to be there for a meeting.  That's alright.  However, if the only time you show up is when you're reading, you're only doing half the work.  More, it's pretty damned selfish.

Unless your writer's group has a rule that only readers attend a meeting, you need to show up and lend you ears, time and expertise for the people who do the same for you.  Not having something or not be scheduled to read isn't really a good reason to skip the meeting.  Your feedback is necessary and needed, and is one of the reasons you were accepted into the group in the first place.

It's the decent thing to do, but if that means nothing to you, perhaps something more transactional would.  Not showing up for other people makes people not want to show up for you.

Now we have that clear, and you're totally willing to show up and lend your ears and opinions even if you're not reading, the real work will begin.  You need to pay attention when someone is reading.  You're not just there to have someone read to you a pleasant little story.  This isn't a reading of the book tour variety.  You're not there to kick back and let your mind be led down wonderful and terrible paths.

You need to sit up, pay attention, turn on the critical part of the brain that is often shut off when people are read to.  You're searching for sentences that don't flow so well, character behaviour that doesn't make sense in context, inconsistent characters voices (I've encountered this - where suddenly a character that speaks solely in slang suddenly started with poetic words - the only time it ever happened), plot holes, confusion plot points or sentence structure, etc.  Now, it may be that a reader shows up with a really clean piece.  That makes critiquing far more difficult, it's true.  You have to pay closer attention to catch out the issues.  But you still have to pay attention.  Honestly.  The reader put in the work to offer the best writing they could for you.  The least you could do is your part in making it even better.

The reader needs your help to improve.  Don't let them down.

Show up.

Do the work.

Speaking of work, I have tonnes to do.  So I'll leave off and go do it.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

After much searching and testing of various small communities of writers, you think you've found your tribe.  Excellent!  Go you!

Now what?

Well, as I mentioned yesterday, each group works a little differently.  Some are super-duper serious and do a lot of work, some are a little more than laid back.  However this group works, it's up to you to show up and do that work.

In most of the groups I've ever been a part of, we've simply read a section of story to one another and listened to the feedback on that section.  Sometimes, it was simply a discussion of an issue someone was trying to work through.  Some groups have many readers in a session, some groups focus on one reader for a bit.  Some don't require written feedback (most, I would argue), where each member is sent the section being read so they can mark it up with suggestions and feedback, some do.  No matter what this group does, you need to do it too.

If it's your turn to read, then make sure you have something worth reading.  It doesn't have to be much, but I do highly recommend getting it as polished as you can.  Make sure you've read it aloud at least once before going live in the group, so that you're not confusing yourself as you read.  The clearer your reading, the better feedback people can provide.  It's nearly impossible to offer feedback on something that someone changes on the fly, if sentences are stopped halfway through, changed, then picked up several words later.

Reading aloud to a group of people can be terrifying.  Who am I kidding?  It is terrifying.  Stuttering and stumbling is alright.  As long as the text is relatively clean, most listeners can forgive stumbles.  Besides, it's really excellent practice for all those public readings you're going to have to do to when you're published.  If you've chosen the right group, then you've also got the benefit of your audience actively rooting for you, and being there to help you in your quest.

You lucky dog, you.

Right, so you've gotten your piece to read, and it's clean.  Not perfect, of course, because why then would you need feedback?  But it's clean.  You've read it, and it went alright, for the most part.  Also, why was arugula the word you found difficult to pronounce?  Now, it's your audience's turn.

Accepting feedback means you're going to have to be prepared to hear the words 'no' and 'not working' and 'you can do better.'  You're not there to be told how brilliant you are.  You're there to have your story and your craft improved.  Sometimes, that can sting; particularly if the only feedback you're used to is to hear your mother tell you how brilliant you are.  It's alright to feel hurt.  Those feelings are perfectly valid.  Lashing out, dismissing or arguing the point certainly is not.  These people just offered you something precious - their time - to hear your story and help you make it stronger.  Be grateful, even if you're a little sore.  Also, try to take their comments under advisement.  It's so easy to simply dismiss a comment off-hand and ignore it, making no changes whatsoever.  But try, even if it's upsetting, to consider what they've said and maybe play around with the problem area in your story they've identified.  If it still sits well with you, by all means, drop the advice and go with your gut.  Be absolutely certain, though, that pride has not pulled the wool over your eyes.

All that said, you don't have to accept abuse, either.  If all you're hearing from your fellows is harsh criticism that is in no way constructive (not all criticism, even when harsh, is cruel), and is designed simply to make you feel badly about yourself or your writing, then you haven't found the right group.  Get out of there.  You don't have to be made to feel like trash in order to improve your writing.  Don't put up with that.  Life is too short.

Right, tomorrow I'll talk about your responsibilities when you're not the one reading.  For now, I have things I need to get done.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

So, you're working on a manuscript, or you've finished a manuscript, or you've finished many manuscripts... you've written something, is what I'm saying, and now you're wanting to up your game.  You're up for some writerly growing, some feedback, or maybe you're stuck somewhere in the story and you need some help.

You've done a bit of research, and you've come across this thing.  It's called a writer's group or a writer's circle.  What it that, exactly, and what does it mean?

Well, each writing group or circle works by different rules, but the basic premise is the same:

A bunch of writers have gotten together and mutually decided to help each other up their writing game.  They generally meet regularly, but sometimes not (let's be honest, trying to schedule a mutually agreeable time for everyone is nigh on impossible), and they share their work, asking for and expecting feedback.  They do this in order to help them improve their craft, or, sometimes, help with a particularly nasty plot problem they're experiencing.

Writing groups are great places to meet with people who understand what you're going through, and to find a mutually supportive network to help you continue towards your writing goals.  They are, on the whole, a fantastic resource for writers, and I can highly recommend them.

They can also, however, be horrendously destructive to a writer if they find themselves in the wrong group.

When searching for a writer's group, do your research.  Look who is in that group.  Do they have a reputation for being supportive and smart?  Or are they known for being selfish and patronising?  Do they write the stuff you're writing (in other words, would they understand what you're trying to achieve with your writing.  There is nothing worse than a SFF writer caught up in a group whose main critique is that 'faeries don't exist.'  Thank you, Sam.  I KNOW)?  Ask to sit in on a few meetings before deciding to join a group.  If you dig the people and the vibe of the group, you've found a place to stay for a bit.  If something seems a little off, don't join.

By this I do not mean only accept fawning praise from this group.  That's not the point.  But nor should you stay in a group that can do nothing but trash your work.  You're there to level up, not get your soul destroyed.

In short, a writer's group is a small tribe of writers who have mutually agreed to gather and help one another improve their craft, solve sticky writing problems, and generally be a support network for one another.  They useful, and great to be a part of... if you find the right fit for you.

Right, I have things to be getting on with this morning.  Stick around and I'll talk about what to do once you've found your writing tribe.

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Well, OC Transpo was at it again this morning, with the bus whose route originates at the station I was waiting at being more than 20 minutes late, making me late for work.  So I'm in a foul mood.  Just the right mood to tackle big issues.

Just kidding.  I'm in no mood for it today.  I'm frustrated, my toes are cold, and I want to strangle the people responsible for the mess that is Ottawa's public transit.

I remember writing something about wanting to do a series of blog posts on writer's groups, and I think I shall go ahead and start mapping that out.  And I also have to make up my schedule for this year.  There are a number of events I am involved with that I should really start making preparations for.

Also, writing wise, I'm hitting near the end of the main character's arc.  It's brutal, this particular ending, but in now way is his sections the full story.  I have other characters that need attention, so once this final confrontation scene is done, I have entire arcs to write for others.  Then I have to decide where the scenes go on the timeline, and thus in the final... uh... rough draft.  The final rough draft.  This is not to be confused with the final draft, which will be the draft that I send off to the first beta reader, which is itself not to be confused with the completed manuscript, which is what I will be submitting to agents/publishers.  Assuming the first book gets a bite from either one of these.

Confused?  Yeah.  Same.

I'm looking forward to writing this upcoming scene.  It's been floating through my mind for the past month, continually popping into my consciousness at the most inopportune times; like the middle of a conversation. By the by, I apologise if you've ever had a chat with me and I just zoned out on you recently.  It was that scene.  Sorry.

Right, I have work to do.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

Yesterday was not a great day.  I had a headache all day, impeding my ability to write and preventing me for heading to training.  I still managed to write a thousand words yesterday, though it took me longer and I'm not convinced the quality of those words is high, but still, they're written.

I skipped training because of that headache, despite my back being workable enough to go.  That resulted in me lying in bed at 7:30pm, feeling and acting incredibly grumpy.  I was not pleasant company last night.  I was angry I wasn't at training, and frustrated with my writing yesterday, and it was not a good night.

Today is much better.  My headache, which I think is related to my back issues, has faded into the background.  I slept very well, also.  That's helped my mood.  Things are looking better today.  I might go back and rewrite what I did yesterday.  We'll see.

For now, though, I'm going to revel in not feeling miserable.  Then I'm going to get to work.  There's a story what needs writing.

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

After yesterday's post, there's not really anything that feels worth sharing.  I haven't much news.  I don't have word from any agents or publishers, I haven't finished a manuscript (though I am making slow, slow progress).  I didn't get to the gym this morning.  It's cardio day, and there will be cardio this evening at martial arts training.  Also, my back is still not 100% and I spent most of the morning lightly stretching in an effort to get my back moving properly.  My lower back decided to crack, which was nice, but not the target.  My upper back remains in a weird, vaguely painful position.  Also, the tips of my fingers on my left hand are quite sore from guitar practice, but the chords are coming easier.  Sort of.

That's my news.  Exciting, isn't it?

Lordy the life of a writer is boring as mud.

So, instead, tell me about yourself.  What are you doing?  Any exciting news or events coming up?

Let me know in the comments.  Right, I'm off to do things.

​Ciao!