I Am Filled With Determination

First, I'm alright. Thanks for letting me vent last week. I very much appreciate it.

After having a full-on crashout last week, which I think was necessary though really shitty to go through, I'm back at it. I'm still quite frustrated and annoyed (angry would be more appropriate), and I am still railing against the universe for the nonsense, but that exceedingly stubborn side of me is digging in.

I am still trying to reign it in, as honestly it's clearly not the end of the world. Just a shake up that will require some working around. I can do it. I've done it before. It just came at a bad time, I guess.

I was in such a mood all of last week that I couldn't bring myself to write. I could barely bring myself to do anything. It was a perfect storm of work frustrations, life scares and hobby failures last week. I would like to say I chose self-care and rest, but the truth is, my body and brain did not give me a choice.

So much fun.

As soon as it started to clear, though, the spiteful little goblin living in my soul somewhere uttered a long string of curses, crossed its little arms and flipped the universe the bird right back.

We're going to do this, I am assured by that weird thing in my heart that is at once a part of and external to myself.

So, I angrily dragged myself out of bed Monday super early to continue writing The Bear. I am a week behind now, but I'm not going to be focussing on that. What is in focus is that I wrote nearly 1 400 words, and dragged myself over the 70 000 work mark. I did it over a cup of tea, and muttering darkly to myself.

(I am writing this Monday evening, so I don't know for sure how well I performed the morning this post goes up for the Starlings, but chances are, it was much the same - tea and muttering darkly to myself)

There's no guarantee that this book will be a success. None of my books really have sold much, but it certainly stands no chance if it's not published at all. And so I shall get it done and published...

Eventually.

There is a little while left before I have to give up the time at lunch I was using to work on my digital art/book cover stuff. But I used it to the fullest on Monday, and might just have completed the second book cover for The Timbercreek Incident. There is still the issue of title and author credit placement, but that's something I can play with in between other tasks in the evening. I'm hoping to have something finalised before that time at lunch is snatched away from me.

​The Starlings will be helping me decide which edition gets which cover, and I'm really happy that I can involve them in this. It's kinda fun!

I suppose I should plug the subscription... Become a Starling and for $1.00(CAD) a month, you get to read the weekly blog post, an additional exclusive blog post, and you get to help me decide how my books look in the future. Oh, and your name listed in the books as a thank you.

There, did the gross self-promotion thing. Be proud. That took a lot.

Despite being a mess, I've had a lot of support this past week, and I just want to thank everyone. I was really close to just giving up (though it probably wouldn't be for long. That goblin is a right piece of work), and your messages of support have been a true salve against despair.

So, thank you so much. 

Alright, I have a lot of work to do after writing this, so I'm going to leave it here. I hope you all have a spectacular week.

Slán go foill!