A New Goal

After my blog post on Black Gate Magazine last week, I realised that I did barely any reading at all last year. This has been a years-long trend for quite a while now. It makes no sense as to why this would be the case. I was an enormous reader before. I would regularly devour books.

My love for reading never really dimmed. But my ability to seemed to have.

After last week’s post, I realised that it was because of me. Yeah. Duh, right? What I mean is that though I adored reading, I never really made deliberate time for it. I used to carry a book with me everywhere I went, just in case I found myself with a few minutes and nothing much to do.

Somewhere along the way, I’m not sure when, I stopped doing that. That’s weird. 

I also used to spend much less time on social media, giving me time to read. I scheduled time for it; perhaps not as deliberately as I schedule an appointment or anything. But I would make sure that there was reading happening at one point in my day.

Then, for some reason I cannot fathom, I stopped. That’s weird.

So, I decided to do something about it. I did try before, but found it impossible to do. I think because I put too much pressure on myself to read a certain amount in a certain time period. I never really worried much about that nonsense before. It didn’t matter that I finish a book in a month or whatever. I’d just read. And when I’d finished reading one book, I’d move onto the next. It didn’t matter when I started or finished a book, nor how long it took me to get through it.

Part of it might have been that I was such a big reader when I was young that I felt some pressure to be able to keep up with teenage me in my reading habits. This forgets, of course, that I did not have two jobs, wasn’t paying bills, and did take on a whole butt load of other stuff to fill my days.

I also realised, after writing up that post, that there are actually a bunch of times I have during my week that I could be reading. And it would serve two purposes.

I am, of course, talking about when I take public transit. Ottawa’s public transit system is notoriously bloody awful. Really, really bad. An absolute disgrace, actually. Canada’s capital city should have a public transit that works. But no. Or, at least it seems that is absolutely does not.

The number of times my blood pressure rose through the roof was always while waiting for a bus that just decided to never show up. Or to wait for a bus that did show up, but was so jam packed full of people that it just roared straight past the stop. It is infuriating when you have places to be and appointments to keep. So I always endeavour to be at bus stops at least one scheduled bus before the one I actually need. I don’t always make it, but I try!

And then there’s all that time spent on the bus. Due to the routes and transfers and other nonsense involved with taking public transit, the commute is usually quite long. Normally, I stare out the window, listening to music. This is prime reading time! Granted, with the joys of being a woman in the world, and taking public transit after dark, I can’t really focus on the reading for as long as I’d like (it’s important to pop your head up for a bit and gauge your surrounds), but I can still get a lot of reading in.

As an added bonus, it will do wonders to distract me from how furious I am to be left stranded by OC Transpo yet again.  Reading and health care all in one.

I implemented this strategy last week, as martial arts training began again and I would be bussing once again (I walk to work, usually, because I really need the hour long walk to prepare myself for the frustration of working on something that isn’t my thing, and the hour long walk home is great for decompressing after having to deal with people all day. Walking is great, actually).

​There was a book that had taken about a year for me to read that I finally finished. And I’ve started another, which looks like I’ll be finished this week. That will make two books finished in January. That’s… unheard of for me (at least recently).

The best part is, I’m rediscovering my love of reading, and I’m feeling so much better about it now that I haven’t put any deadlines or expectations on it. I have my designated reading time - the commute to and from martial arts training. If I get reading beyond that, cool. But otherwise, I’ll finish a book when I finish it.

So far, it’s working. Granted, it’s been one week, and one book (nearly two), so who knows if I’ll be able to keep it up. I’m going to try, though. And even if I don’t, two books in a month is still an improvement over last year, so it’s still a win.

There are so many good books I want to read, and for some reason I really struggle to get to even one. Maybe this year will be better.

Alright, I have a bunch of work stuff to do. I shall let you go.

Slán go foill!