Dear Young Sir

Published on 24 June 2024 at 08:00

Good morning, Readers!

Image by hartono subagio from Pixabay

Okay, this is a bit of a departure from my usual stuff, largely because something happened to me last week that hasn't happened pretty much ever, and certainly shouldn't be happening at this moment in my life.

Someone approached me as I was walking to work and asked for my phone number.

Okay, look, let me explain why I feel like this shouldn't really be happening. First and foremost, I have largely (and usually quite happily) been invisible my entire life. I have had very few instances of my regular life being interrupted by someone hoping to acquire my digits. I've also been invisible in those few instances where I might have hoped to be noticed, but that is neither here nor there.

I am currently a forty-year-old woman. I am by no means slim. By all accounts, I should be even more invisible.

So, when a young man with a lovely name, actually, approached me on my to work and struck up a conversation, I was utterly dumbfounded. When he asked for my number, I was quite take-aback. I'm afraid I said no rather abruptly and might have laughed. Not exactly proud of that. I could have been nicer. But it was all so damned out of my ordinary experience that I short-circuited. He wasn't creepy in any way, I was just well out of my element.

One of things that impressed me the most, though, was that when I said "No" as a complete sentence with no qualifiers, explanations or excuses, all he said in response was "Okay" and left me alone. Other than his general appearance, this alone told me we were a generation or two apart. I was bracing for a barrage of demands for justification for that 'No' followed by a string of insults. This is the default for the very few interactions of this nature that I've had. But there was no such behaviour.

So, in the extremely unlikely event that this particular young man is reading this:


Thank you for not being an absolute garbage human. In the entire interaction, I was never uncomfortable. Surprised, and completely out of my element, sure. But I never felt uncomfortable. And thank you for not pressing the issue. Thank you for taking 'no' at face value, and leaving it at that.

Honestly, you dodged a bullet. I am, I'm certain, twice your age and entirely disinterested in romance at present.

And I know being a decent human being should be the bare fucking minimum, but all too often it isn't. So, thank you.

​I genuinely hope that I didn't destroy your day and I genuine hope that  you find someone much more suited to you than I could ever be.

Right, now I have to go and do work things.

Slán go foill!

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