Good morning, Readers!
So, it’s the day after Can*Con. Well… the night really. I’ve been braindead all day, snoozing on and off as I recover from the weekend. I had a wonderful time. It was really awesome, and incredibly surreal, but also exhausting. This event has always felt a lot like home, but there are a lot of people, and it can be very overwhelming.
Oh, I also need to apologise for not having posts for you last week. I was doing just fine in getting everything ready. Right up until the painting I do every year. It was started in plenty of time, but took forever to finish. I was fighting it the entire time. It swallowed up all my spare moments leading up to the convention.
Let me tell you how much I hate that painting. Even now that it’s done. First, it was acrylic on canvas, which used to be my jam. But for some reason, I couldn’t make this one work. I tried and tried and tried. I fought the paint. I had one or two absolute meltdowns. It lasted more than a week of me spending all my spare time to get the thing to do what I wanted it to do.
Nothing was working. The paint was always translucent. It didn’t matter the number of layers, or if I added a touch of white. And I couldn’t get the shading right. It was all wrong, and frustrating… Then, on Wednesday of last week — two days before the start of the convention — I decided that I’d just give up trying to make it how I wanted and take a palette knife to it. The painting was already awful. I couldn’t make it worse.
So, I did the thing. I loaded up my palette knife and attempted to create a textured painting instead of what I actually wanted to achieve. Honestly, it worked. I still didn’t like the painting, but at least it wasn’t terrible. Thursday night before the event, I had to paint in the details; the eye and claws. It was painted quickly and loosely (something I struggle with, actually), as I was doing it after training Thursday night. It was already well past my bedtime, and I needed to get it done. So there was no time for fussing.
Anyway, it looks vaguely like the thing it was supposed to be, so I figured it was good enough. Here is the beast:
So, a phoenix. It looks like a phoenix, more or less, so I won’t think more on it. I got it done. And it was there on day one. And it earned a little bit on money for the convention. Mission accomplished. Oh, speaking of. The painting went up as part of a silent auction, and the first bidder clearly entered on a whim:
When Marie Bilodeau (Chair of Can*Con) told me of it, I just about died laughing. I had to take a photo of it. It’s so funny. Thank you for making that initial bid, even if the hubby said no in the end. The thought was there. I appreciate it.
Alright, onto the weekend, which felt incredibly surreal.
Can*Con has always been a wonderful event for me. But this took it and multiplied it by a whole lot. It wasn’t even about selling books.
I did end up selling a lot of books, specifically Daughters of Britain, so much so that the only copies now still unsold are with the distributor. I will be purchasing those at the end of the year to sell, along with the rest of my books. Just because the thought of getting them pulped breaks my heart not an insignificant amount. So don’t fret. If you really wanted a copy, you haven’t missed the boat quite yet.
The fact that I sold so many books took me by surprise. Normally I sell a few, but never all that much. Last year I didn’t sell much at all. Selling isn’t really the point of Can*Con for me. It really never has been. It’s always been about being around creative folks, and learning from them, and getting to hang out with the coolest folks ever. This year, though, I sold a surprising number of books. It was weird for me.
I also sold more art than I ever had. One of my original watercolours went. An original acrylic on canvas board went. One of my Go Away I’m Reading leather book jackets went. What? WHAT? WHAT?!
It was so nice.
Weirder still were the folks who mentioned that they were familiar with my name. I beg your finest pardon? How?! A couple of people mentioned knowing me from social media.
For which I’d like to apologise.
I’m not often on social media, so that took me by surprise. I’m also not very good on social media. I’m not witty, or even particularly interesting on there. So… sorry about that. Still, thanks for following me, I guess.
Some people mentioned having read my books before. That was the best thing you could have said. A shout out to James, who dropped by my table to let me know that he’s still thinking about Daughters of Britain two years after he read it. I just about melted. That made my entire convention, to be honest. Literally the best compliment anyone could pay me.
Shoutout also to Roy, who was a volunteer this year, who dropped by and told me that he really enjoyed the book of mine he had bought. Thank you for coming by for a chat! I melted into a puddle twice.
I had people drop by my table to tell me they enjoyed my appearance on panels (and a lovely couple (I can’t wait to read that book, Rebecca) who mentioned that they’ve been to a couple now over the years and always enjoy it.. what? What? WHAT?!).
Also, a shout out to Joan, who came by looking for a copy of Ethan Cadfael. I didn’t have any to sell, as I’m planning to reprint it soon under my new imprint. In the very off chance that you’re reading this, Joan, email me. I will happily send you a copy.
This all feels a little like humble-bragging. I’m not trying to brag. I’m just absolutely blown away by it all. I’m a little bit in shock over it, actually.
Look, writing can be extremely lonely. And I have been trying to make this writing thing my main thing for nearly twenty years. It’s been a slog. The number of times I felt I was going nowhere, and would go nowhere; feeling like a hamster on a wheel, hard at work but gaining no momentum. I have very nearly walked away countless times, feeling that I could never find success. There have been moments where something happens and I get a glimmer of hope, but the nature of the publishing industry and trying to become a full-time writer in a world with falling reading and literacy rates often has me feeling despair.
After this weekend, I felt like maybe there’s a chance after all. More so than after other times. I left the convention exhausted, obviously (honestly, as soon as I was packed up and waiting for my dad downstairs, it was like a switch that flipped, and I was simply unable to function. I put in my music and let myself disassociate for a while), but still buzzing. Literally on cloud nine.
There are a lot of people I want to thank for such a great weekend. I’ve mentioned some already. But I also want to shout out Laurie and Jim, for dropping by for a great chat, as well as Anne, whose kindness and support has always helped me feel worthy. We also had a lovely chat.
To the folks responsible for putting on the event; Marie, Brandon, Evan, Tyler, Erin, Courtney and all the incredible volunteers without whom none of this would be possible, you all consistently make Can*Con an absolute pleasure to attend. The amount of dedication and work to do so cannot be ignored. I appreciate you all so much. Thank you for all that you do.
Alright, I have done enough gushing. I am still a bit tired, but it’s back to the real world tomorrow and I should be hitting my regular schedule. This was a long post. Thanks so much for reading it. I’m off to bed now!
Slán go foill!
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