An Update for April's End

Well... this was supposed to be written Sunday to schedule for publication first thing yesterday morning, but I spent all of my spare time and spoons (of which I have increasingly few) over the weekend deep cleaning the apartment. I have done three sections... well... two and three quarters. I have a fair amount to do, still, and will be spending my free time this week getting it done.

I'm often hit with executive disfunction that lasts months on end. It's usually associated with a depressive spiral (but not always), that renders me absolutely incapable of doing anything. It takes all of my energy to roll out of bed and get to work each day. I'm not mentioning this for pity points. I'd rather not get anything, thanks. I'm mentioning it because it is genuinely impacting my life negatively. I can't seem to get things done.

And that's a problem. Not least of all because I have many deadlines I need to meet, but because it aggravates my depression. It's not fun to feel like an absolute failure on the daily. And that rubbish that I've been yelling at myself to take to the bins outside for months on end just adds to it.

This blog post, for example, was supposed to be another entry in to the series explaining some of the world/characters of The Lioness of Shara Mountain ahead of its anticipated publication date early next year. If I can get things together, that will be next week's blog post. I should have also written the Starlings (subscribers) the monthly report. That will be coming hopefully later this week.

I'm a bit stressed, because tonight I'm supposed to hand in my fortnightly article to the eZine I'm writing for. I don't even have a topic yet. I'll get one. I hear there's some kerfuffle happening with WorldCon. Again. The article usually goes up Tuesday morning, so I'm skirting the deadline rather too closely, and have been doing it each time for the past few months. Apologies to my very forgiving editor.

But the apartment deep-clean needs to get finished, and that's going to take quite a while. This is, of course, going to result in a very long night tonight as I write up the article and then spend the rest of my time cleaning. I will be tired and cranky tomorrow. I'd put money on it.

There is some happy news, however. I have been writing in the brief moments I have consistently between shovelling food into my gob and the end of my lunch hour for the last little while, and I've just crossed the twenty-two thousand word mark today (yesterday for the people who aren't subscribed on Ko-Fi).

I am in love with the main character. She's capable, brave, and cheeky as all hell. I have a lot of the story written in my head already, and it's fun. There are three major events involving these characters. I doubt that will mean three books worth of writing, but that would be hella fun if it turns out I do.

This story is giving me a much-needed sense of accomplishment, and is likely the reason I was able to pull myself together enough in order to get started on the much-needed deep clean of the apartment. It's weird how momentum in one aspect of my life has translated to momentum in another aspect.

And to be honest, I'm quite proud of the work I've done around the apartment to date. It'll be nice when the rest of the apartment is done. Hopefully soon. Hopefully it'll all be good shortly.

For now, I'm stressed, and grateful - especially for the Starlings, who remain subscribed despite my scattered brain.

Okay, I have to get back to the real world now. Thanks for dropping by!

Slán go foill!