And I'm still cringing with every error, no matter how minor. It's not even just that I cringe, either. I found myself quietly castigating myself for every missed mark, no matter how inconsequential. That is not an unusual thing for me to do.
That is not a good thing.
I shouldn't be calling myself all kinds of horrid names just because there is a period where a question mark ought to go. I do though.
And I always have. I've always expected a lot from myself; to an unreasonable degree. I always joke that someone's got to expect big things of me, but the behaviour has been, ultimately, destructive. There have been in the past so many things I have given up on because I failed to do them perfectly.
I'm recovering, but I still catch myself tearing myself down in the worst ways for things that really aren't that big a deal. So, that is something I clearly need to work on.
I will be finished the checking of the proof today, I think, and then I'll go ahead and make the changes necessary. Then I'll just have to accept that the manuscript is going to be as perfect as it can be and just leave it alone.
It always is a test of my will power to leave something alone instead of spending all of eternity tweaking it.
In an effort to cheer myself up, I watched this video:
Right, I have to work to do.