As it turns out, most of the people this article reached were decent folk, who shared my outrage. I mean, the article in question is absolute horse shit from start to finish. I could wast my time breaking it all don to destroy the article, but that would require me to write a dissertation. I'm not really that invested any more.
Just take it from me, a martial arts training, female badass (ahem... alright, maybe not badass. Goofball? Goofball works), that the idea that women are always frail and soft and naturally uninterested in anything martial (and traditionally masculine) is utter shit.
Anyway, back to the point. Most everyone was sharing their outrage, and it was directed at the right person: the author of that article. And then there was this guy:
How dare I shed light on the pervasive hatred that underscores a woman's lived experience far too often.
Except, I'm not ashamed.
Here's the deal, random guy who decided to strike out at me for making you uncomfortable, instead of the guy whose fault it actually is, the attitudes in this article are shared by more than the dude who wrote that article. I have seen these very attitudes in play. I have been told, to my face, about how women are "naturally" suited to low-wage work, or fainting at the sight of blood, or motherhood. I have been told. to my face, that I am not ladylike enough to be attractive. I have had friends, who might otherwise be sensible people, note that I am "mannish" for liking the things I like and doing the things I do.
One quote, which will stay with me forever:
Sonia is a man in a woman's body.
And I know I'm not the only woman who is. People who think otherwise have absolutely zero clue about women.
These attitudes infect even decent people, people who espouse ideals of equality, but believe that women just aren't "built" for a career in STEM fields, or are all "natural mothers" no exceptions.
Sometimes, too often, these attitudes are couched in hate, for whatever reason. Sometimes, like the author of the offending article, some people use religion as justification for their hatred and cluelessness.
And here's the thing, when women speak up, when we say, "Hey, this is a problem!" the most common answer we get, even from well-meaning people, is, "What? I don't see this at all. It's not a problem. You're over-reacting."
Articles like the one I linked to serves as proof. "See?" I can say. "I have evidence! Look. HERE IS THE EVIDENCE, WRITTEN (badly) IN PLAIN ENGLISH! Now do you believe us?"
And we get, "You should be ashamed for sharing this article."
We just can't fucking win, can we?
Well, here's the thing. I'm not going to stop sharing these articles. Why? Because I am fucking exhausted of not being trusted as a witness to the events in my own life. I'm tired of being brushed off when I try and tell people that there is a problem. Every chance I get, I will post the evidence.
Sure, it's fucking affronting. Now try living with this shit shoved in your face all the damned time.
If the article I shared upset you. Good. It was supposed to. It upsets me every single day, and I don't need an article to know these attitudes exist and are pervasive.
If you're angry at me for sharing the proof, for showing that women aren't actually a bunch of hysterical liars, well, that's on you. Deal with it.
I have to.
And maybe, just maybe enough, if people see how much of a problem this is, they might actually start seeing that there actually is a problem. Maybe, just maybe, something will be done about this problem.
So I will continue to unashamedly share articles that vex me (as well as the ones that make me giggle). Because apparently women can't be trusted to tell their own stories. And the world needs more proof than millions of women saying the exact same thing.
Rage against me if you want, but your anger is misdirected. Perhaps you should aim it towards the prigs who deserve it - the mysognyistic morons who write these kinds of articles.
Now I'm off to (non-gendered) work.