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Worse Than Moving

24/9/2020

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Good morning, Readers!
Picture
Image by brisch27 from Pixabay
Just a quick blog post to let you all know that I'm still alive and kicking. I've not been doing much save alternating between packing, moping, and stressing out. Moving really is the worst.

I'm also wondering how to try and make it as a freelancer. It seems impossible to me. But so many folks I know do it successfully. Granted, they've got far more marketable skills than I do. So there's that.

Le sigh.

I'm so stressed guys. Not the move, really. I've made peace with that, though I still hate moving and will always complain about that! It's the financial uncertainly that's turning my stomach. Joblessness is by far a worse stressor than moving. If I could just get a job, even a part time one so long as it covers my necessities. A part time retail job won't do it. I can't survive on part time minimum wage. It has to be a better paying job if I'm going to make it.

This train of thought, which I'm sure you're sick of hearing about (try living with it) consumes to better part of my mental and emotional energy. I can't write. I can't draw. Basically all I've managed to do is watch British comedy panel shows (they're usually clever, wry and very funny), play mindless match games on my phone, and cuddle the cat.

I'm really hoping that once I'm settled into the new place, I'll be able to relax a little bit. I know I have EI (though I hate that CERB is ending. So many people still need the help), which will buy me some time, but little comfort... and I think Canada does have a welfare system, which I might need to utilize if things get very desperate.

I've not been on welfare. In Australia, I took advantage of their youth allowance (which I don't even know if they still have. I left Australia a very long time ago). I'm sure that I could scrape by if I was on it here in Canada. But I also don't want to be. I don't want to be counting pennies to see if I can use the washer and dryer in the basement this week, or if I'll have to skip on buying that bread so I can keep clean.  I have no idea how to navigate the Canadian welfare system, and I hope I never find out.

The thought really does a number on me. I'm sure it's not as bad as my imagination is making it out to be. I'm certain I could scrape by... just. But that's not the life I imagined for myself when I was little.

Anyway, I feel like I'm complaining far too much, so I'm going to shut up now and retire to the couch to watch some British telly before heading upstairs to make sure that my bedroom is ready to be moved next week. Bedroom first, then office/studio, then myself and the cat.

Then I'll be settled in and things will be looking better.

Ciao!
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    S.M. Carrière, a Celtic Studies enthusiast, writes fiction.  And this blog.

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