Good morning, Readers!
Image courtesy of thecripplegate.com. Click for link.
Despite appearances, there are a lot of things I keep to myself. Most of the time though, I'm genuinely an open book. You could ask me pretty much anything, and I'll answer it as far as I'm comfortable. I don't really see the point in hiding things that are obvious to anyone with a functioning brain. All that does is create mountains of misunderstandings arising from assumptions made in ignorance.
For example, if I'm in a really shitty mood, I won't tell everyone I'm fine. I'll warn you all that I'm in a really shitty mood. For starters, it helps me as a public figure. I will of course, try to be as accommodating as I'm comfortable when meeting people I don't know who may know me. I would want people to know that I might not be on my game in the hopes that they might understand if I'm not as warm as they were expecting.
Though, I'll take it as a kindness if you'd leave me alone outside of specific events when I'm prepared and have my 'public' hat on. You probably won't get the warmest reception if I'm just trying to do some grocery shopping.
Anyway, I will generally write about it if I'm in a foul mood. I might even tell you why. Like, this past week, I got into a fight which upset me to the point of a crying fit the likes of which I had not experienced for a long, long time. How's that for a ridiculously long sentence?
It put me in a really fast, really hard spiral that took me a few days to crawl back out of. I'm better now. Now I'm just sad, instead of sad, frustrated and unbelievably angry.
Sometimes, if I get into a tiff with someone, and it's over something that does not merely impact me, but will also impact others, I will get inspired to blog about it. Sometimes, I write a general blog post not inspired by any one event, but by a series of events or trends that I've noticed. I will explain what I think needs explaining (asexuality, for example, or the need for vaccinations, or the problems faced by female martial arts instructors, or FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE ARE YOUR PHONE MANNERS YOU UNCIVILISED BRUTE. Ahem), because a few people are getting it wrong, and others likely will also. This, of course, will negatively impact people who identify the way I do, be it sexuality, orientation, occupation or philosophy.
That post is a general PSA inspired by a particular incident, or pattern I've noticed. It's not directed at any one particular person, but for anyone and everyone who may be making the same errors, which will impact other people like myself. Generally, though, one person or event may have pushed me to finally write the piece. The proverbial straw that broke the donkey's back, as it were.
What I don't do, is name names. I also try to keep it vague enough that those who know nothing about the situation will not be able to guess at the identity of the person or persons (if there are any) who may have inspired a post. Close friends will know, largely because I trust them enough to cry on their shoulders sometimes.
There have been some instances where people have thought these blog posts were directed at them specifically. They weren't at all. They were directed at everyone who thought/behaved this way.
However, as a general note, if you recognise in yourself behaviours I've identified as problematic, perhaps, maybe, consider stop doing the problematic things? At least around me. I mean, it's totally up to you, of course. If you want to continue being an arsehole, I can't really stop you, can I?
This, of course, is different from a difference of opinion. Sometimes people tell me things privately that have given me pause and made me think. Without naming the person, I often blog about my thoughts on a particular point that someone has brought up. It helps me to work out what I actually think, and why, and provides a really interesting platform for discussion about a topic. I love discussions like these, because they're often fascinating.
Generally speaking, it is entirely possible to have a difference of opinion about something without it turning into a mud-slinging match. That does require that both parties not devolve into ad hominem attacks when they hear the words "I disagree" or "I think you're wrong about that." The thing with such discussions is that no agreement may be reached, except the agreement to disagree on certain points.
I think that's perfectly okay.
An opinion is just that, an opinion. Problems arise, I think, when people demand that their opinions be adopted by everyone else.
Which isn't to say some opinions shouldn't be abandoned. Looking at you, Nazis.
So, what do I blog? I blog opinion pieces. A lot. I'm really opinionated. I sometimes use personal experiences as examples. I blog the boring stuff, like what I'm currently up to (just got the second round of edits back for Daughters of Britain. So I'm editing today. Thanks for asking).
What I won't do is talk about specific people, unless they're in the public eye, saying dumb shit in public (looking at you, Nazis). Then I will happily name names. I will talk about specific behaviours in broad strokes.
I will talk about deeply personal stuff if asked. I don't believe in hiding my humanity, and being human means that it's not all roses and sunshine all the time.
If that bothers you, this blog is probably not for you.
For example, if I'm in a really shitty mood, I won't tell everyone I'm fine. I'll warn you all that I'm in a really shitty mood. For starters, it helps me as a public figure. I will of course, try to be as accommodating as I'm comfortable when meeting people I don't know who may know me. I would want people to know that I might not be on my game in the hopes that they might understand if I'm not as warm as they were expecting.
Though, I'll take it as a kindness if you'd leave me alone outside of specific events when I'm prepared and have my 'public' hat on. You probably won't get the warmest reception if I'm just trying to do some grocery shopping.
Anyway, I will generally write about it if I'm in a foul mood. I might even tell you why. Like, this past week, I got into a fight which upset me to the point of a crying fit the likes of which I had not experienced for a long, long time. How's that for a ridiculously long sentence?
It put me in a really fast, really hard spiral that took me a few days to crawl back out of. I'm better now. Now I'm just sad, instead of sad, frustrated and unbelievably angry.
Sometimes, if I get into a tiff with someone, and it's over something that does not merely impact me, but will also impact others, I will get inspired to blog about it. Sometimes, I write a general blog post not inspired by any one event, but by a series of events or trends that I've noticed. I will explain what I think needs explaining (asexuality, for example, or the need for vaccinations, or the problems faced by female martial arts instructors, or FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE ARE YOUR PHONE MANNERS YOU UNCIVILISED BRUTE. Ahem), because a few people are getting it wrong, and others likely will also. This, of course, will negatively impact people who identify the way I do, be it sexuality, orientation, occupation or philosophy.
That post is a general PSA inspired by a particular incident, or pattern I've noticed. It's not directed at any one particular person, but for anyone and everyone who may be making the same errors, which will impact other people like myself. Generally, though, one person or event may have pushed me to finally write the piece. The proverbial straw that broke the donkey's back, as it were.
What I don't do, is name names. I also try to keep it vague enough that those who know nothing about the situation will not be able to guess at the identity of the person or persons (if there are any) who may have inspired a post. Close friends will know, largely because I trust them enough to cry on their shoulders sometimes.
There have been some instances where people have thought these blog posts were directed at them specifically. They weren't at all. They were directed at everyone who thought/behaved this way.
However, as a general note, if you recognise in yourself behaviours I've identified as problematic, perhaps, maybe, consider stop doing the problematic things? At least around me. I mean, it's totally up to you, of course. If you want to continue being an arsehole, I can't really stop you, can I?
This, of course, is different from a difference of opinion. Sometimes people tell me things privately that have given me pause and made me think. Without naming the person, I often blog about my thoughts on a particular point that someone has brought up. It helps me to work out what I actually think, and why, and provides a really interesting platform for discussion about a topic. I love discussions like these, because they're often fascinating.
Generally speaking, it is entirely possible to have a difference of opinion about something without it turning into a mud-slinging match. That does require that both parties not devolve into ad hominem attacks when they hear the words "I disagree" or "I think you're wrong about that." The thing with such discussions is that no agreement may be reached, except the agreement to disagree on certain points.
I think that's perfectly okay.
An opinion is just that, an opinion. Problems arise, I think, when people demand that their opinions be adopted by everyone else.
Which isn't to say some opinions shouldn't be abandoned. Looking at you, Nazis.
So, what do I blog? I blog opinion pieces. A lot. I'm really opinionated. I sometimes use personal experiences as examples. I blog the boring stuff, like what I'm currently up to (just got the second round of edits back for Daughters of Britain. So I'm editing today. Thanks for asking).
What I won't do is talk about specific people, unless they're in the public eye, saying dumb shit in public (looking at you, Nazis). Then I will happily name names. I will talk about specific behaviours in broad strokes.
I will talk about deeply personal stuff if asked. I don't believe in hiding my humanity, and being human means that it's not all roses and sunshine all the time.
If that bothers you, this blog is probably not for you.
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