I had hoped, perhaps foolishly, that they might come before midday, and I'd be able to head into work for at least part of the day, getting in a blog post and at least a little bit of writing... and also not taking the whole day off. For some reason, I always feel so guilty when I take days off work, whether I'm entitled to them or not. I wonder why. There's something to bring up in therapy!
In any case, no such luck. I ended up spending the whole day at home, with the morkmen arriving roughly half an hour before the end of the period stipulated on the notice. I was, I think, the last home to be visited.
While I was not happy that I didn't get to do much writing, I did do a whole lot of other adulting around the house. I didn't get everything done, but damn, the house is in pretty good nick. It's amazing how well a tidy house can lift a mood.
The trick is, of course, to not permit my busyness and general exhaustion to messy up the house in their wake. It's harder than it sounds, as often my bouts of depression manifest as an inability to function entirely. It's bed and sleep and nothing else when I get like that. It's bad news for homemaking.
I was not depressed yesterday. I got out of bed at the regular time, got dressed and got to work. It felt good yesterday, to be able to do the things I've been wanting to do for ages but haven't been able. Depression can be such a debilitating illness. People who don't experience it will not understand, I think. It might just seem like people are overreacting or being lazy. It's not that. It's akin to a weighted blanket, and the weights are forever heavier than you are strong, no matter how strong you get.
So, despite not writing anything yesterday, it was a very good day. It's really, really nice when the clouds part and I get to know what it feels like to be normal for a bit.
I'm proud of my adulting yesterday, even though it means that I have a lot of catching up to do writing wise. I'm hoping to get to three thousand words today and tomorrow each to make up for the two thousand I didn't get written yesterday.
To that end, this will be a short blog post. Again.
Until tomorrow, then!