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The Pursuit of Happiness - Part One

10/7/2017

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Good morning, Readers!
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I've been thinking about this a lot of late.  Not necessarily the pursuit of happiness itself, but why we feel compelled to be happy.  I mean, it's not just feeling happy, it's a weird obsession with it, as if happiness must take precedence over everything else.

It's gotten to a point where people are destroying themselves in an effort to appease this bizarre cult of happiness.

I honestly feel like this idea that someone must be happy all the time is one of the most destructive things I've seen.  People spend copious amounts of money on things, hoping that whatever they will buy will make them happy.  They twist themselves into emotional knots, bottling normal, natural feelings because they will interfere with happiness, no matter how warranted things like grief and anger are.  Happiness is the only thing we're allowed to feel.

It's ridiculous.  And it's a lie.

Happiness is an emotion.  It is not the only emotion.

We really need to get used to the idea that happiness is not a continuing state.  It isn't a plateau.  It is a spike.  And we really need to stop invalidating the other things we feel.  They are as informative, and as necessary to our lives as happiness.  And they're healthy.

It is uncomfortable to grieve, but permitting ourselves the time and space to do so is infinitely better than hiding it away, forcing it beneath the veneer of happiness.  If we give ourselves the time and space, if we sit with our grief, we can eventually work through it.  If we do not face it, it will always be there, hovering on the edges of our minds.  Undealt with.  There.  Always.  Interfering with everything, whether you're aware of it or not.

The same is true for anger.  No, it's not pleasant, but permitting ourselves to be angry when anger is appropriate takes the sting out of it.  It takes away its longevity.  Anger unresolved is like grief unresolved.  It's always there, simmering, and it will explode the moment our guard is down.

It is exhausting trying to keep everything contained like that.

Here's something I want people to know:

It's okay if you're not feeling happy at this very moment.  It's alright if you need to cry.  Cry.  There is no shame in it.  It's fine if you need to rage for a bit.  Rage.  Get it all out of your system.

You don't need to break your back trying to adhere to this new cult of happiness.  You cannot be happy all the time.  Just as sadness and anger pass, so does happiness.  It is the same as any other emotion.

Certainly, pursue the things that make you happy.  Refrain from injuring others in your various states of unhappiness.  But you must not feel obligated to feel happy when you aren't.

That, to me, is where madness lies.
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    S.M. Carrière, a Celtic Studies enthusiast, writes fiction.  And this blog.

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