I blame Markiplier.
I did manage to do some drawing while listening to my Welsh lesson. I got four chapters of Sky Road Walker edited, and I even wrote a little.... a very little. Still, I got stuff down. It just didn't feel all that productive.
Seriously though, he's been good therapy. It's been a rough couple of weeks, and I've been giggling for the past three days....
And I've only just watched a video where he talks about his current silence online. A good friend of his and a fellow YouTuber passed away from suicide.
I've never had a friend kill themselves, but I've been on that ledge. I've stared down that abyss, and very nearly fell. There aren't adequate words to explain what it's like, only that it's dark. It's so, so, so dark that you can't see a way out. And it's heavy. It's so heavy; a weight on your chest that makes every breath a struggle.
Climbing out of there is not easy. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, and it's a never-ending struggle. I often slip. I often slide back.
Please, if you're staring down that abyss, know that you are loved. Know that there is a way out. Reach out. We'll be here for you.
If you live in Canada and you really need to someone, there are options.
Mental Health Helpline: 1-866-531-2300
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868
That's pretty much all I wanted to say now. I'm going to paint now.