Good morning, Readers.
Image courtesy 700childrens.nationwidechildrens.org. Click for link.
Today is not a good day for me.
I still have a migraine.
My back is still quite sore.
And now I'm in a depressive spiral.
Yay.
I'm quite lucky, really. I survived long enough to be able to afford some therapy and I can now recognise when these depressive spirals hit, what they are and how to cope. It affords me a buffer where before there was none.
Rationally, I can say out loud that this is a spiral. I will get over it.
Emotionally, I'm currently a wreck. I'm not dealing with with anything. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. No amount of rational discourse with myself helps with the feelings of isolation, or the vast chasm of emptiness that is carving its way through my entire person. It doesn't help me in any way, but to know what is happening. All it affords me is the ability to put a name to my experience.
Even still, that's a step up from my teen-aged years, when I just fell into a spiral and nearly drowned each time.
It will pass. It always does.
But for now, I just want to hide from the world.
On that note, I'm going to go hide.
Ciao.
I still have a migraine.
My back is still quite sore.
And now I'm in a depressive spiral.
Yay.
I'm quite lucky, really. I survived long enough to be able to afford some therapy and I can now recognise when these depressive spirals hit, what they are and how to cope. It affords me a buffer where before there was none.
Rationally, I can say out loud that this is a spiral. I will get over it.
Emotionally, I'm currently a wreck. I'm not dealing with with anything. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. No amount of rational discourse with myself helps with the feelings of isolation, or the vast chasm of emptiness that is carving its way through my entire person. It doesn't help me in any way, but to know what is happening. All it affords me is the ability to put a name to my experience.
Even still, that's a step up from my teen-aged years, when I just fell into a spiral and nearly drowned each time.
It will pass. It always does.
But for now, I just want to hide from the world.
On that note, I'm going to go hide.
Ciao.
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