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My Word

5/1/2021

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Good morning, Readers!
Picture
Image by Photorama from Pixabay
A popular thing I see every so often is, instead of or in addition to New Year's resolutions/goals, a word is picked. This word is something to live by for the rest of the year. A few years ago, I chose the word courage. I was afraid. I was afraid of putting myself out there. Afraid to take a stand. Afraid to call myself by the things I'd had, quite frankly, earnt, like 'writer' for example. Afraid of failing to the point that I wouldn't even try.

I haven't picked a word in a while, and figured this was the year to do it again. I mean, after my expansive list of goals I posted last week, what's one more thing, right?

​This year, my word is this:

Worthy

I spent the majority of my life believing that I didn't deserve anything. I didn't deserve a good job. I didn't deserve friends or affection or love. I didn't deserve my dream career.

Well fuck that.

I do deserve those things. I am worthy of those things.

This year is the year I fight against my innate self-rejection.

I am worthy of the deep, true friendships I have and may develop.

I am ​worthy of love.

I am worthy of respect.

I am worthy of a career as a writer.

I am a worthy martial artist and martial arts instructor.

This year, I resolve to stop holding myself back because I've somehow convinced myself I am not good enough for the nice things in life; for the things I want. I am good enough. I am worthy.

Perhaps, by this time next year, I'll have managed to break the cycle that tells me I am not. And maybe I'll stop holding myself back. And maybe, I'll start to see some of my dreams come true.

So, that's my word for 2021. That's something I'll be spending the year focussing on. The fact that I am worthy. And I deserve good things.

For the record, I've had to fight this whole blog post not to mitigate the phrase 'I am worthy.' It's going to take a lot of effort. Luckily, I have the year. Wish me luck.

If you were to choose a word for yourself, what would it be? Leave it in the comments below.

Ciao!
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    S.M. Carrière, a Celtic Studies enthusiast, writes fiction.  And this blog.

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