I sat down to play me some of my favourite game (Skyrim) on my Xbox 360. I had finished editing all the footage I had from my previous gaming sessions. There was a lot of footage. It was a lot of work. As a reward, I wanted to spend last night making more work for myself... which is to say, playing and recording more.
And then, and then, I did something awful. I knocked my glass of wine over... all over my Xbox. I started cleaning it up immediately, but though the Xbox made the appropriate noises, it no longer turned on. Nor did it open the disk drive.
I... well... I cried.
It wasn't just a few tears, it was awful, chest wracking, ugly crying. I felt stupid for crying. The Xbox is just a thing. I can save up for another.
Except for two things:
1. That Xbox took me three years to save up for. Shut up. I'm poor. It was a symbol of hard work, and a reward for that hard work. I was so proud when I got that Xbox. It made me so happy to unbox the thing. And now...well, now it's the thing I carelessly wasted a glass of wine on.
2. It had my Skyrim: Legendary Edition disc inside and wasn't giving it back. It's not just that I love Skyrim to extreme degrees (which I do), it's also because that disc was sent to me by a friend (hey, Laura). I treasure it for that reason.
So, I cried. I cried a lot. I cried so much my eyes started stinging.
The funny thing about crying, though, is that once it's over you generally do feel better. I realise now that I haven't cried - properly cried - in such a long time. I think I really needed to have that cry last night.
Even if it was over just a thing that I have... had.
And not all was lost. The Amazing Flatmate was very amazing and managed to retrieve the disc for me, and salvaged the hard drive. So now, even though I have to buy a new Xbox, I probably won't have the start everything from scratch.
That's something, because HOLY FUCK WHAT ABOUT THE 40+ HOURS OF GAME PLAY I'VE ALREADY DONE FOR SMC AWKWARDLY PLAYS AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THE COOPTED GAME I'M PLAYING WITH JON?!?!?!?
Hopefully, I haven't lost it all, and I can just insert the hard drive into the new xbox... Whenever I can afford to get a new Xbox.
I would prefer to buy new, but for now I'm looking at all my options. Chances are, I won't be able to buy new unless I want to spend another three years saving... and then there won't be any Xbox 360s around at all.
I'm feeling better now, but I'm still very sad about it. I think I will spend today wallowing, if it's all the same to you.
What about you? Have there been things you have balled your eyes out over even though it felt stupid to cry about it?