S.M. Carrière . com
Connect:
  • Home
  • About
  • Titles
    • Daughters Of Britain
    • Dear Father
    • Ethan Cadfael: The Battle Prince
    • Human
    • Skylark
    • The Dying God & Other Stories
    • The Seraphimè Saga >
      • The Summer Bird (v.1)
      • The Winter Wolf (v.2)
    • Your Very Own Adventures >
      • Skara Braens
      • Sky Road Walker
    • WIP Updates
  • Art
  • Other Projects
    • Editing Services
    • Charity Efforts >
      • Gàrradh nan Leannan
      • Have a Heart Campaign
    • Journal
    • Martial Arts
    • Silver Stag Entertainment
    • The Adventures of Grimglum the Nord
    • SMC Awkwardly Plays
  • Shop
    • Books
    • Art Prints
  • Contact

Dear Life

29/8/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
Image courtesy of recoveryconnections.ca. Click for link.
Dear Life,

I see you there, smiling and waving, full of sunshine and fields and butterflies.  But I can't today, okay?  Not today.  Not today.

Dear Depression,

Hello.  Yes I know you're there.  I always know you're there.  Lurking.  Waiting.  You don't need to come any closer.  No, stop.  Stop!  STOP!

Dear Life,

I fill you with meaningless things, busy work, anything to keep depression away.  But you and I both know that that's not really living, is it?

Dear Depression,

I hate you.  I hate how heavy you are.  How hard you make things.  Simple things.... Or, at least, they should be simple.

Dear Life,

You're moving away from me.  I need to catch up.  I just... give me a moment, please.  God, why can't I get out of bed?

Dear Depression,

All I can do is sleep all day.  Please go away.  I'm needed.

Dear Life,

I'm sorry.  I can't deal with you right now.  Maybe tomorrow.  Try again tomorrow.

Dear Depression,

I need you to go away now.  Go away.  Big things are happening and I need to be there for them.  Not trapped here.  Not with you.  Go away.

Dear Life,

No, please.  You don't understand.  Please stay.  I'm trying.  I'm really trying.  Please understand how hard this is.

Dear Depression,

So, you've done it again.  Here I am, alone and friendless because of you.

Dear Life,

I hate you.  Go away.

Dear Depression,

No, they were right to leave.  I think I agree with you on this.  They were right to leave.  After all, I wasn't there, was I?  I should have been there, but instead I was chained to my bed, or filling up with busy work to avoid facing you.

Dear Life,

I don't actually hate you.  I'm sorry.

Dear Depression,

You won the battle, but not the war.  You won't win that.  I won't let you.  God. I can't breathe.

Dear Life,

I'm trying.  I really am.  It's taken everything I have just to wake up.  Please be patient with me.  Please.

Dear Depression,

Why am I crying?  It's just water on the floor.  The floor needed mopping any way.  There is nothing wrong.  Why.  Am.  I.  Crying?

Dear Life,

We'll get through this.  We'll get through this, right?




Right?

Just a quick note to let you all know that I'm fine, more or less.  I just needed to get some stuff out.

I'm fine.

​Promise.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    S.M. Carrière, a Celtic Studies enthusiast, writes fiction.  And this blog.

    Archives

    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    September 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014

    Categories

    All
    Book Reviews
    Events
    Gaming
    Human
    Life
    Rants
    Reading
    Seraphimè Saga
    Seraphimè Saga
    Skylark
    Television
    Training
    Travels
    Writing
    YouTube

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly