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Please Just Don't

22/8/2018

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Good morning, Readers!
Picture
This amazing piece is by deviantart.com user littlewillow-art. They have some awesome pieces, so click the image to see them!
Fair warning: I have a sore throat, a slight fever, and I'm tired AF, so I'm crankier than usual and things that I can normally ignore are really getting on my nerves, so I'm in a pissy mood.  That has a lot to do with today's post.

Also, I've already had a chat with someone about this.  So, dude, if you're reading this, I promise it's not about you.  It's a general statement for literally everyone else.  Promise.

Also, also, I hate that I had to have that chat.  I hate confrontation.  It would be one thing if it was with a stranger, 'cause then I am distant enough that I don't care if setting my boundaries upsets them.  But it sucks to have to do it with a friend, whom I know is a genuinely great person and is just trying to be helpful.  So having to do it put me in an even worse mood.  If I didn't, though, I'd have exploded and been really vicious.

Also, also, also, I'm picking on gaming here, but I'm dealing with similar issues in many, many areas in my life and I'm so fed up about it all.  I'm using gaming here for a proxy for literally everything else.

Today's post can basically be summed up in one phrase.

Yo, backseat gamers, no one asked you.  Sit down and shut up.

Look, I adore streaming.  It's me playing a game while hanging out with my good mates, having a generally good time.  It becomes less good when people take it upon themselves to demand I do a thing a particular way, or spend the stream trying to correct me.  That's when I get my back up.  That's when it stops being fun.  That's when they start being a dick.

Don't do it.

I know that generally it comes from a good place.  I know that people are trying to be helpful.  For the most part.  Some of them.  Others are just trying to impose themselves on the gamer they're watching and making yourself feel superior.  However, even if it is coming from a good place, it's still annoying as fuck.

Don't do it.

Also, a lot of what people say during a stream is facetious, so don't go around correcting them.  All it proves is that you're pedantry is interfering with your sense of humour.

The gamer you're watching isn't you.  If they were, why would you bother watching them?  It would be boring, wouldn't it?  Even if you've played the same game, watching how other people do it would be infinitely more interesting than if they did it exactly the same way you did.

Honestly, just let them play.

Now, this is different from being generally helpful.  I love it when my mates point out things I might have not noticed.  "Hey! There's a chest in this room!" is wonderfully helpful and I really appreciate it when people do things like that.  I also love when I get frustrated at a puzzle and I ask for help, and someone gives it.  That's super helpful and awesome.

Telling me to equip a certain armour, to do go to a certain place right this minute, or use this weapon now, and on and on.  No.  Fuck off.  I'll play my way, not yours.

That is also not the same as saying, "Hey, this is what I did here and it worked for me."  If that's what was done, I would take it into account as I make my game play decisions.  I may or may not do the same thing.  But if you try to tell me what to do, when and how, I'll push back.

It's not that I have a problem with authority.  It's that you don't have any.

Are you a better gamer than I?  That's entirely possible.  I'm terrible at it.  In fact, that's my whole schtick.  I die.  A lot.  But being a better gamer than I does not make you an authority on gaming.  It makes you an authority on how YOU game.  The only authority on my gaming is me.  Other people need to back off.

I'm thankful that this isn't a gendered thing, at least.  I follow several much larger let's players than I, and they're guys, and they've flat out admitted that they've quit playing certain games because the backseat gamers were rabid during that play through.

It's making people quit games.

Stop it.

Let me put it this way: how would you feel if you were going through your life, and someone was behind you every step of the way, telling you how and when to sit in that chair, how to catch the bus, how to brush your teeth, what to eat (regardless of what you want), how to lie down to sleep, and when, how to turn a corner...

Annoying, right?  You'd go mad after just a day of that nonsense, right?  Well, that's what it's like when you're trying to game with a backseat gamer in your ear.

I'm really, really, really lucky in that I'm a small streamer.  Only my real-life friends bother to show up and watch me play. I don't have to deal with backseat gaming so much.  They're really just there to hang out and chat, and watch me die and laugh about how badly I play.  That's the goal of my streams.  That's all I want.

But I've had a couple of instances, and probably because I'm unwell and facing the same stuff in other aspects of my life, and I'm really done with the whole thing right now.  I'm setting boundaries.  They're healthy things to have.

I know I can't stop people from being a dick during streams.  All I can do is explain that it sucks, and please don't do it.  I also know the internet, and now that I've asked people not to, the internet will do exactly that.  The contrarian nature of the internet is actually something I can relate to (see above statement about me pushing back), so I'm not really all that mad about it.

That said, now that I have said it, when I snap at people for doing what I asked them not to, you will all know why.

TL;DR: Being helpful is great. Trying to dictate how I should game is dickish, and I'll snap at you if you do it.

M'kay?

Thanks for listening to me rant.  I feel a bit better now.  Still have a sore throat and a slight fever though.  Grumble.

If I haven't completely turned you off me, I'll be streaming a bonus stream tonight.  The event that changed my regular schedule for this week has been cancelled, and so I have tonight free again.  I'll be live at 7:00pm.

If you want to hang out and laugh and how bad I am.

Right, I have to go.

Ciao!
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    S.M. Carrière, a Celtic Studies enthusiast, writes fiction.  And this blog.

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