Good morning, Readers!

So... I'm starting to feel better.  My mood is returning to my normal.  I can actually feel the stress ebb.  For some reason, it's been a really rough few days, emotionally speaking.

For example, yesterday I arrived home and very nearly burst into tears the minute the Amazing Flatmate greeted me.

Yup.

Aaaaaany way, my mood has improved a lot since last night.  There was a hot shower, warm blankets and purring kitties that helped.  Also, British comedies.

My terrible mood has meant that a couple of things have slipped.  I didn't post the photos from Ottawa ComicCon yet, and the latest episode of Nights at the Round Table has not been edited and uploaded.  I suck, I know.  Sorry.  I'll get all that together as soon as I can.

My corpse finger, too, is slowly starting to return to normal.  I am typing without the splint on, and my range of motion has improved a lot.  It still hurts a bunch if I overuse it, though, so my splint is very close by.

I'm still feeling utterly exhausted, though.  All I want is to collapse into bed and sleep.  I don't know what's going on.  I'm taking care to eat well (though the food on the weekend was less than stellar, I'll admit), get plenty of sleep, and I exercise regularly.

Le sigh.

That's enough of me complaining.  Things are improving, and that's what is important.

Onto other news:

I NEED YOUR VOTES!

Ahem... so... the next Your Very Own Adventure Story has started.  The first part of the story is now up, and your vote is required for the next step.  So far option A is winning.  Are you sure that's what you want to do?

Click through to read the first part and vote.

I'm also looking for votes on which charity this story will support.

If you could do me a favour and share Skara Braens far and wide, that would be great. It's always more fun when there are more people participating.

Right, I have much more work to do today, so I should end it here.  Have a great day everyone!

Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

This weekend was Ottawa ComicCon.  In case you were somehow unaware.

It was a weird one, guys.

I'm not sure what to write about it because on one hand, COMICCON OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!

But I was also really off all weekend.  I was feeling tired and strange, and I feel like that made me a terrible table mate.

Sorry to everyone around me if I appeared less than stellar.  I don't know what was up.  I really don't.

As far as sales go, they weren't as good as last year.  I was hearing the same from other vendors.  This really shouldn't matter, because OMG COMICCON THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!  But it did bother me this weekend.  I mean, it is a life goal to make enough money from my writing to support myself, and it felt like a step backwards.  While being frustrated about it is understandable, I'm much more frustrated that I let it get to me at all.

ComicCon was always just about the Con, about meeting people, seeing awesome costumes and having fun.  Sales were always just an added bonus.  And you know, now that it's over, I'm not actually all that bothered by the relative lack of sales.

I just couldn't pull myself together this weekend for some reason.  I was stressed, and exhausted, and feeling it all.  It might be related to my depression, now that I sit and think about it.

And I feel really, really bad about it.

It probably didn't help that I was in a lot of physical pain (broken finger, brutally aching knee... I'm falling apart!).

Now all the weird stuff about this year's ComicCon is dealt with, I have to say that there were some amazing highlights during the convention.

There were some amazing costumes, as always.  I will post the photos I took over the weekend up on my Facebook page probably tonight, when I have a little time to breathe.  If you spot yourself in one of the photos, feel free to tag yourselves!

Shout out to everyone who dropped by my table for a chat.  You guys are so awesome, it's not even funny.  It was a definite bright spot for me to see you all.  I hope I didn't come across as tired and grumpy as I felt.  It's really important to me that you all feel welcome if you're visiting me at conventions, because you really, really are.

So, that was my ComicCon experience.  A bit of a mixed bag, but that's the way to cookie crumbles sometimes.

I hope your ComicCon was a fabulous experience and that you had an absolute blast.  I will definitely be there again next year, and hopefully my mood will cooperate better!

Now I have much work to be getting on with.

Ciao!

*cue dramatic music*

​Good morning, Readers!

So, tomorrow is Ottawa ComicCon.  I'm pretty excited.  Mostly, I'm just super eager to be meeting the awesome folk who always make this event so much fun.

Also, I will be wearing a finger splint.  I have an injured finger.  It hurts.  A lot.  My finger also looks like a corpse finger.  It's all purple-y and gross.  I also can't move it much without a lot of pain.

I currently have it in a finger splint.  Our clumsy household has had similar injuries before, so we actually had two finger splints in our medicine drawer.  Thank goodness, 'cause I'm out of medical tape.

But how did it happen?  Well, I was teaching last night and so while teaching people to throw a proper punch, hand my palm out for target practice.  One guy decided that punching up instead of out was the order of the day, and he punched the tip of my fingers, pulling my finger back.  There was a cracking noise, so I'm assuming that the joint shifted, but I could also bend my finger just fine afterwards, so I'm assuming that the pain I have now is just due to the swelling etc, and with rest and ice, it should be fine in a week or two.

It does pose a problem for training tonight, however.  I'm still going.  I won't be able to do any grip work, so pull ups and chin ups are out, but holding lighter weights, and doing push ups and sit ups won't be a problem.  Squats will be a definite problem, but that's because my thighs hurt so much from Tuesday...

Hopefully I'll sill be able to punch, since it's not the knuckle that's affected.  I'll give it a shot, anyway, and if it doesn't work, I'll work on my forms in the back or something.  I think it'll be okay.  We'll see.

But yes, do come vissity broken old me at Ottawa ComicCon.  HERE is the blog post with all the info on where I can be found.

I have to go figure out how to type without making so many damned mistakes!

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

So, this happened:

I returned home last night to a Facebook message.  It was from a friend who, full disclosure, works for the Ottawa Public Library.  In that message was a link.

A link to my book.  In the Ottawa Public Library.

Guys, Human has been ordered by the Ottawa Public Library!  This is AWESOME!

I'm so thrilled you have no idea.  I'm really pleased.  It's currently on order, but it should get there soon.  If you can't afford the book, you can now borrow it from the library (if you're in Ottawa).

HERE'S THE LINK.

This also happened:

Yesterday was the first day back at training in three weeks.  First day back at weights.  First day back at kick boxing.  First day back at kung fu.  Yes, that's three hours of training.  After a three week break.

I might die.

Weight training was all body weight stuff - push ups, inverted rows, squats and lunches and that sort of thing.  Only bodyweight stuff.  By the end, I felt that slightly nauseated feeling you get when you've worked too hard on too little food, or if you're suffering from heatstroke (from experience).  It wasn't fun.

Luckily, everything stayed down (I have made myself ill from working out before, and it's NOT fun), and I was able to do the rest of the training.  First was kick boxing, where I discovered my cardio wasn't as bad as I thought.  Body movement, however, is bloody terrible.

Kung fu was, well, wonderful as always.  I heart it very much.

This also happened:

This morning my lower back cracked.  For the record, it's been stiff for as long as I can remember, and almost never cracks.  So, this crack was painful at first, and then it was wonderful.  For the first time in ages, it feels normal there, which means weird, because my normal is tight and sore.

There is now a muscle on the right side of my lower back that has been released... and it doesn't know what to do with itself now that it's all free and loose, so it's vibrating (muscle twitch).  Singing the song of its people?  Singing the song of angry muscles who will not be slaves again?

Anyway, it's noteworthy for me because it's so unusual.

And these are the things that happened yesterday/today up until the writing of this post.  Now I have work to do.

Ciao!

​PS - I'm feeling a bit better emotionally, thanks to those who asked and lent their support.

Good morning, Readers.

Those of you who know me or have followed this blog for a while will know this already, but my brain in a colossal arsehole.

Which is to say, of course, that I suffer from depression (and other, largely undiagnosed neuroses, I'm sure).  It fucking sucks, to put it bluntly.

When I was a teenager, I spent the majority of my time sleeping, because that was all I was capable of.  I'd have awful temper tantrums when I was a child, and I learnt to suppress these.  Unfortunately, the anger and grief still needed an outlet.

I was suicidal.  I would cut.  Not with knives, because I feared getting caught, but I would scratch myself until I bled, usually in the shower.  Luckily, I have few lasting physical scars, so no one would really know unless I told them.

Now you know.

As an adult, it's been better.  There was a period there, when I was surrounded by toxic people who were horrible humans, where it got worse and the suicidal ideation returned.  They've been out of my life for many years now, and it got better.  It returned only once since I've turned thirty, and relatively recently, but by then I knew what was going on.  It was old hat.  I knew the tactics of the bully and so could recognise them by name when they happened, and I was able to remove myself both from the suicidal spiral, and the bully.

I have been diagnosed.  I have also refused medication.  I'm really, really, really fucking fortunate that mine is not severe enough (any more.  How I survived into adulthood I'll never know) for me to warrant taking medication.  I'm also really leery of the side-effects of these drugs and, since my mind - my imagination - is the most precious thing I have, I don't want to go around messing with it.  I'd rather face the dark days than fuck it up entirely.

This is by no means a snub to those who do elect to take medication.  You can't understand until you've been there, but trust me when I tell you that medication is often extremely necessary.  If I was less stubborn and more sensible, I would be taking medication.  As it is, I've found alternate methods (and that took a few visits to a therapist and some serious discussions with professionals in the field).

But here's the thing about depression, it doesn't ever really go away.  Even on the good days, it's kind of just there.  Lurking.  It can sneak up at the strangest moments.

Like yesterday.

Yesterday was a good day.  It sunny and cool - great walking weather - and I had been productive.  But, despite the sunshine and the birdsong, I hit a depressive spiral on the walk home.  It was sudden, and it was devastating.  It takes me over an hour to walk home.  By the time I arrived, all I wanted was disappear; make it so I wasn't around, just make it stop...

I call these moments my 'spirals.'  Usually, I'm pretty good about fighting depression back.  I catch the sneaky fucker and stop it before it gets rolling.  Yesterday, my vigilance slipped a little, and then... well... It sort of swallowed me whole.

Don't worry.  I know what it is.  I know how to handle it.  I know it will pass.  I can fight my way out of this.  I've done it before.

So, that's where I am today.  I'm telling you because I think it's really important to be open about mental illness.  If you're suffering, know you're not alone.  There are options.  Talk to someone.  And most importantly, I hope you can see that there is hope.  There will be light again.

Keep going.  We'll be waiting for you.

Sending you all much love.  I have work to do now.

Ciao.

Good morning, Readers!

So Ottawa ComicCon starts Friday.

I am not prepared.

AAKJSDHUIHFI:JDSH:OUAD!

I'm pretty sure I don't have enough stock of books, and I've only just sorted out the mess that was the art prints.  I'm not sure they're going to arrive on time.  I know I say this every time, but I'm really not prepared for ComicCon.

I'm really, really worried about my stock levels, but there is a part of me that is trying to convince myself that I have no reason to worry, 'cause who's going to want to buy my books anyway.

Yeah... my brain is a colossal dick.

Anyway, I'm feeling sick with worry, as I usually do before any kind of convention.  This time, however, it's less about the press of people than it is about my offerings.  Le sigh.

We'll see how it goes.

Whether I have wares or not, I'd love to chat, so if you're in the area, do drop by my table!

In other news, the first section of Skara Braens has been drafted up and will be live on time this Friday!  I was really stressed for a while that I wouldn't be able to come up with another YVOA story, but I managed a start, and now that it's started, I'm pretty excited.  I have the major plot beats, but it's up to you how we get there.

I do hope you'll participate!  If you're interested in following along, you can find the story on Wattpad here.  If you want to participate, be sure to sign up and follow the story.  Vote in the comments when the time comes!

As far was writing goes, I now have SkyRoad Walker back form the formatter, and I will be digging through that and making sure it all makes sense before uploading it to Createspace.  With luck, it'll be up for pre-order soon.  I should also soon have the book cover to show you all.

Right, I have plenty of work to do.  Have a fantastic day!

​Ciao!

Good morning, Readers!

As many of you know, I'm trying really hard to get my art prints fixed.  I had ordered them, but they came out way too dark (in The Scribe print, all you could see was the moon and window... and the cats' eyes (and Sephy's pink tongue))

It's been a frustrating five days.  Upload after upload has failed, and I'm pretty much at my wits end with the whole thing.  I just want it sorted out, damn it!

On a brighter note, I now have thought up the basic premise of Skara Braens, and so I will be able to write up the first section and have it all ready for voting in the next week or so.  I'm actually looking forward to writing this thing up.  I mean, it's a lot of work, but I have very fond memories of the voting process, and the often very deep reasoning some people gave behind their votes.  That was fun.

And writing can be such a lonely thing, it's nice to be able to use it as a vehicle for interacting with my readers, especially since I rarely meet with them save for an odd convention here and there.

So, although I know I have my work cut out for me, I'm really looking forward to getting started, actually.  I wonder how this one will play out.

Well, I'm already very late getting this together, as I was wrestling with those frakking art prints.  Which I must go finish doing.

Alright, I'm off.

​Ciao!