For the record. I'm alright. I oscillate between furious and numb, but that means every so often, I hit fine and normal, too. Being around good people has helped.
Saturday was a great day for that. I taught my martial arts classes, which are generally the highlights of my week, then volunteered for CanCon in the afternoon and into the evening. There were only two people I knew there, so my introversion was in full effect. I had a blast. Everyone there was absolutely lovely, and we got work done, ate great food, and had a fantastic time. It did, however, take me a full two days to recover.
Still, I laughed really hard for the first time in a long time, and I'm so glad I went.
Last night was also one of those nights that was good for me. I went to training. There is nothing like giggling with your training partner as you throw punches and kicks as hard as you can for two hours. Also, I'm (re)learning a new sword form, so that's great. I like it when my brain is active. Focussing on the learning helps tear the focus away from the things that are troubling me.
I'm feeling much more myself today. I don't know how long that will last, but while I'm here, I just wanted to apologise to everyone who I have ghosted, failed to reply to, ignored, or have otherwise been unavailable for in the past few weeks. I needed to turtle up for a little bit.
Hopefully the worst is behind me.
Right now, I'm gearing up for CanCon, which begins Friday. That is a whole other level of anxiety, but at least there's some excitement there too.
Speaking of gearing up, I have some serious prep work to do, so I must go do it.