I see you there, smiling and waving, full of sunshine and fields and butterflies. But I can't today, okay? Not today. Not today.
Dear Depression,
Hello. Yes I know you're there. I always know you're there. Lurking. Waiting. You don't need to come any closer. No, stop. Stop! STOP!
Dear Life,
I fill you with meaningless things, busy work, anything to keep depression away. But you and I both know that that's not really living, is it?
Dear Depression,
I hate you. I hate how heavy you are. How hard you make things. Simple things.... Or, at least, they should be simple.
Dear Life,
You're moving away from me. I need to catch up. I just... give me a moment, please. God, why can't I get out of bed?
Dear Depression,
All I can do is sleep all day. Please go away. I'm needed.
Dear Life,
I'm sorry. I can't deal with you right now. Maybe tomorrow. Try again tomorrow.
Dear Depression,
I need you to go away now. Go away. Big things are happening and I need to be there for them. Not trapped here. Not with you. Go away.
Dear Life,
No, please. You don't understand. Please stay. I'm trying. I'm really trying. Please understand how hard this is.
Dear Depression,
So, you've done it again. Here I am, alone and friendless because of you.
Dear Life,
I hate you. Go away.
Dear Depression,
No, they were right to leave. I think I agree with you on this. They were right to leave. After all, I wasn't there, was I? I should have been there, but instead I was chained to my bed, or filling up with busy work to avoid facing you.
Dear Life,
I don't actually hate you. I'm sorry.
Dear Depression,
You won the battle, but not the war. You won't win that. I won't let you. God. I can't breathe.
Dear Life,
I'm trying. I really am. It's taken everything I have just to wake up. Please be patient with me. Please.
Dear Depression,
Why am I crying? It's just water on the floor. The floor needed mopping any way. There is nothing wrong. Why. Am. I. Crying?
Dear Life,
We'll get through this. We'll get through this, right?
Right?
I'm fine.
Promise.