So... something happened last week that has left me reeling. Let me give you a hint:
This isn't for my writing, however much I'd love for that to be the case. It's actually for my little YouTube channel Silver Stag Studios.
I'm still in shock over it. I never expected us to get there ever, at all. It didn't even cross my mind that such a thing would happen. And, in truth, I'm really struggling with this nomination. I am having an incredibly powerful case of imposter syndrome.
There are a whole host of reasons why. The main one is that we're an incredibly small channel. Even after four years on YouTube, we have fewer than fifty subscribers, and almost all of those are certainly not active. We're lucky if one of our videos gets more than ten views.
Also, I'm the first to admit that our production quality is not great. We're just a bunch of goofs in a friend's basement chatting about books and films, and playing video games. The footage is rough, the sound is rougher. I'm hoping to change that, saving up for a few lapel mics and a proper sound mixer.
And worse, I've had a lot of trouble keeping to a regular upload schedule for all the programmes, and I have had serious thoughts more than once of quitting the thing entirely.
So, you see, I'm struggling a lot with this nomination. I should be thrilled, but I'm really not. Looking at the list of fellow nominees, I feel fraudulent. I don't belong on that list, in that company. We're not there. Not yet.
That's not saying that I think you shouldn't vote for us if you think we're genuinely deserving, but at the moment, I don't feel like I deserve to be up on this list.
That said, because we're so small, I highly doubt we'll be voted the best, so I can rest on that. Still, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to what Silver Stag Studios is.
What We Are
In truth, I would like to do more community stuff with the channel, but I'm limited by the fact that I must work several jobs, and don't really have the time to do more with the channel. Those wonderful folk who volunteer with the channel also work regular jobs and have limited time, and aren't available to do more. Nor would I want them to drop their lives to do more for this channel, especially without pay.
Our mainstay of the channel is a programme I've cheekily called Nights at the Round Table. It's cheeky because it's not filmed or uploaded at night, nor is the table we sit at round. BUT what it is, is a round table discussion of genre books and film.
I'm also trying to get this as a podcast, but I'm having difficulties finding somewhere to host it that doesn't cost an arm and a leg (and currently everything costs and arm and a leg, no matter how inexpensive it is!).
So, that's us in a nutshell. That's what we do.
You can check us out more at our website if you want. If you feel like this is something you might like to watch or listen to, subscribe to our channel.
And lastly, go vote for the Aurora Awards. There are some really amazing folk that have been nominated, and some really deserving works that could use your vote.
Tomorrow, I'll talk about who I'm voting for and why in each category.